Love Notes for Bridging Difference

Posted on November 19, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

The PA student wellness talk went great! 42 or so junior colleagues engaged with me and my badly designed PowerPoint for ninety minutes and I had the BEST time! I realized this morning that for the youngest of them (about half the class), the pandemic hit during high school and the beginning of college. It reminds me of The Fourth Turning and how significantly the intersection of phase of life with momentous human events influences our world views. This summer I was challenged to address the impact of generational differences on organizational culture in a corporate wellness talk, and I started to see age and generation as another form of diversity.

“Respect and challenge the hierarchy,” occurred to me for students this year. We elders (some very elder indeed) still run things, and our experience and wisdom matter. We also have much to learn from our juniors, from their fresh and diverse perspectives. If we can all lead, from any chair, by humble and confident example, our professional culture will progress toward stronger inclusiveness and mutual respect.

I continue to seek conversation and connection with both conservative and progressive friends around politics. But I want to go deeper than news headlines and the loudest arguments. I want to know what core goals and values we share, to start walking together to see where our paths diverge. Where are our shared destinations, and why do you choose 90/94 while I choose Lake Shore Drive? What are the dis/advantages of each, what are the trade-offs?

I am really starting to miss more long form posting here, how fascinating! We are 60% through this daily blogging challenge. Many thanks to all who have followed along (Hi Mick and Donna!), and welcome to any new friends! Now let’s see how much love we can find across difference:

Keep your antennae tuned for those who would divide us to serve their own purposes. This is NOT our better nature. Resist them and stay connected!

2. You and I disagree on this today. That may not necessarily be the case in the future. We can keep our minds open to change, without shame or judgement.

3. You don’t believe everything I believe. But let us not let that stop us from staying curious and connecting anyway. May we see light in each other no matter what.

4. The holidays can challenge our patience and resilience to triggers. *deep breath* May we stand firmly in love and ties of respect and shared history to get us through gratefully.

5. Our biases come honestly or not, we inherit many and form others organically. It’s a human thing. But let us hold them loosely and let them go to connect to one another.

6. Today and all days, may our differences feel softer, less threatening, and approachable with openness, light, and optimism for connection.

7. How wonderfully diverse we all are! How boring the world would be if we were all the same! May we appreciate and celebrate every spectrum!

8. To my friends who vote differently and sit with me over a meal or coffee to discuss–thank you. Our persistent and resilient connection gives me hope for our future.

9. I love you because we share important things in common. And the places where we differ teach me, make me better. Because of our love.

10. One deep breath can be the difference between a connecting moment and a destructive one. Let our breath give us the space to make the connecting choice.

11. Humility Curiosity Empathy Kindness Generosity — Is there any theme of love note NOT founded on these?

12. These fun music mash-ups like AC/DC-BeeGees — If we can so easily and artfullly blend divergent melodic creations, why not try with our policy ideas? We are a creative species, no?

Oh, I like this set, friends. Onward to 30!

Love Notes for Remembrance

Posted on November 16, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

May her memory be a blessing.

Today I attended the funeral and life celebration of Mary Deeley, friend of decades, teacher, preacher, and leader of the Sheil Catholic Center community at my alma mater, Northwestern University. Funny, and I think a little divine, that I wrote notes for reunion two nights ago. Father Ken Simpson celebrated the mass today, and I felt at home, seeing so many familiar faces from decades of relationship. Mary’s spouse spoke with love and humor, just as I imagine Mary would have wanted. It was a whirlwind day of smiles, hugs (so many hugs, it was awesome), and memories. What a lovely reminder for what’s important in life (our relationships) and how to spend the finite time and attention we are given (not much at all, and duh, on relationships).

Let’s see if I can do the feelings justice:

Your memory is indeed a blessing. What a beautiful expression. We miss your bodily presence terribly, and we know you are always with us.

2. When we remember those who have passed, may we honor their legacy of love and impact on us by paying it all forward as best we can. 🙂

3. Long before any of us pass, may we share our fondest remembrances of each other. Why wait until the end? Recall and rejoice today!

4. May we honor and respect past versions of ourselves that had to go. They served us until they didn’t and it’s OK to mourn them and keep living.

5. When I come across something that reminds me of you, I try always to mark it somehow. So the cosmos knows about you and how you still matter.

6. “You know, the death rate from life is 100%.” –My very wise patient. We can choose to create the memories worth recalling by living as intentionally as possible now. In love.

7. If/when I lose my memory, I hope the cosmos will let me keep the love above all else. When I see your face, that’s all I need to remember about us.

8. Let us welcome the memories that bring tears. They signal deep connection and remind us of what we share. They make us human. Welcome welcome welcome.

9. First I thought about grief Then about loss. But remembrance is now my preferred frame. It feels more connecting to the love somehow.

10. When that stab of sudden and intense remembrance strikes, may we slow a step, take a breath, and allow it. It’s transient and a blessing through the ether.

11. They say grief can only live where love has already been. That makes it easier to think about, and no easier to feel through… Still, yeah. Love.

12. Sometimes I remember you as if you have already passed. It’s morbid, I know. But it helps me appreciate you now. It awakens me to us.

Huh. I’m pretty happy with these. Onward, my friends.
And we love you, Mary.

Love Notes for Friendship

Posted on November 12, 2025 by Catherine Cheng, MD

How did it take twelve days to come up with this one??
I am surrounded by such amazing people everywhere and I marvel at it every day.
Today was particularly amazing–at the gym, at lunch, over text, and in snail mail.
Our relationships save us, my friends. Let us cultivate them with care and attention.

Age Race Profession Country of origin Religion — Friendship can connect us across all of these boundaries and more, if we let it.

2. From ‘On Friendhip’ — Kahlil Gibran When you part from your friend, you grieve not; for that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

3. Relationships evolve. Friends may come and go, and come back again. We can welcome and roll with it all. We’re all human. We all change. It’s all okay.

4. It’s not gifts, words, or meals shared, necessarily. It’s presence, I think. Intentional attunement, attention, and resonance to energy. Friendship.

5. Dear friends: Find them, be them: Kind – Generous – Fun – Open – Curious – Empathic – Supportive – Nonjudgmental – Loyal – Honest – Present – Accountable.

6. I wish you friends like I have! And that is the best wish I can ever bestow, because I have the BEST f*ing friends EVER!

7. May your people always be at your elbow and your fingertips, not only when you need their support in struggle, but when you celebrate everything good!

8. We all need that one friend who will show up for us no matter what. No questions. No judgments. ‘Move a body friends,’ I think Brene Brown calls them. Hell yes.

9. Bee butts. Eileen sends me photos when she sees them because she knows how much I love them. May you have at least one bee butt friend.

10. I knoe you’re my friend because you are honest. I know you are honest because you tell me hard truths. And you do it kindly. Like I said, you’re my friend.

11. This is exciting! We just never know when, where, or how we will meet our next great friend! It could be anywhere, anytime! AnyONE! How AWESOME is that!?

12. I think we all need more collage frames to display all of those silly candid photos of friends being silly and joyful together, just being themselves.

144 of 360 completed, friends! And I think this daily dozen project is going well so far! I’m still having fun, and my process efficiency improves by the day. The notes are stacking up, though. Still contemplating what I will do with them all after the month ends! Ideas are welcome! More tomorrow!