Tag Archives: Anne Lamott

NaBloPoMo 2023: What’s Already Good, and What Could Be Better?

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“Tell me about your eating patterns: What’s already healthy, and where is there room for improvement?”

In the last few years, I have found this to be the most agreeable way to start the conversation with patients about nutrition habits. We get defensive about our eating–so fascinating! Behavior change is complex; we all have our hangups, barriers, and motivators, and they all vary with context, always in flux, which can be so frustrating.

Starting from a strengths perspective, looking at what we do well–where our actions already align with our values and goals–frames habit change as taking the next step on an existing path of progress, rather than as self-judgment and remediation. It invites us to approach self-improvement with curiosity, creativity, and experimentation. When I had this idea of already good/could be better a week ago, I knew it had some connection to my book, and now I see it clearly. SO exciting! All of this inner work–the doing and writing about it–these last 8.5 years, has been in service of the Big Fat Hairy Project (BFHP) that could possibly come to fruition in the now foreseeable future… Wow.

This year, I will use NaBloPoMo as a writing lab of sorts. I will try a new challenge of setting 30 public prompts in advance. This will provide both constraint and freedom–oooo, fun–or not, we shall see! I will play around more with poetry, maybe? Storytelling? Resource lists? By the end of the month I want to feel joy, accomplishment, and wonder, having learned more about my process and evolved it a little, and produced some posts worth sharing and referencing. I will do my best to leash my inner critic, muzzle but not blindfold it, honor its innate purpose while keeping it in a corner, out of reach from my writing implements. I give myself permission to interpret my prompts broadly and respond in kind. And who knows, maybe after 30 days of (near) daily writing, I will have established an actual book writing habit!

I intend to approach each topic below from both a personal and a collective perspective. What’s already good about my own sleep, for instance, and also our sleep as a society? What could be better for me, and what would a system look like that facilitates optimal sleep for a population? Oooo, this could be cool. I often think vaguely, obtusely, in this individual/collective mindset, but this may be the first time I apply it to 30 topics in a row, directly and explicitly. Ohmygosh, how exciting.

Let’s see what happens, eh? Giddy up!

NaBloPoMo 2023 Prompts:

  1. Sleep
  2. Exercise
  3. Nutrition
  4. Stress management
  5. Relationships
  6. Reading
  7. Honesty
  8. Mindfulness
  9. Self-Compassion
  10. Polarity management
  11. Forgiveness
  12. Social media
  13. Integrity
  14. Accountability
  15. Balance
  16. Perspective
  17. Leadership
  18. Presence
  19. Romance
  20. Love
  21. Judgment
  22. Commitment
  23. Gratitude
  24. Flexibility
  25. Acceptance
  26. Creativity
  27. Education
  28. Politics
  29. Writing
  30. Debrief

It Came Up In Conversation

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Friends, how are you?

So many people are having a really hard time right now. I feel it all around, and it’s heartbreaking. So much pain, both first hand and vicarious; such powerlessness, leading to agitation, rage, and despair… or at least an angsty restlessness, a deep vibrational yearning for things to be very different from how they are. **deep breath** Whatever you have going on, I wish you all you need to suffer as little as possible.

During one clinical encounter this week, Patient and I sensed a vague yet deep restlessness in her. At the end of the visit I had no useful advice to give. Rather than disappointed or apologetic, though, I felt stimulated. From her low energy starting point, I felt wide space for potential, and a rapid slew of questions coming on. So I grabbed my notepad and scrawled as they emerged:

  1. How much do you want a life change?
  2. If change then how, in what way?
  3. Why–what will that give you?
  4. What are the steps?
  5. Who can help (assume you need help!)?
  6. How will you measure progress?

As I wrote, I changed “(do you need help?)” to “(assume you need help!)” and “success” to “progress” in real time.

Looking back, I’m not sure she really wanted to engage with these questions, which felt okay to me. I did not intend to pressure her into doing anything. I did, however, want to share my sense of possibility, openness, curiosity, and agency on her behalf. No urgency or requirement to answer anything, I told her. To “live the questions,” as Rilke wrote, is all we need sometimes. Turns out I ask these questions of myself pretty regularly. Maybe that’s why they came to mind so readily.

What/how do these questions move for you, if anything/at all? What other questions do they spark, if any? What else?

“What proportion of your daily routine/decisions/actions/default activities are driven by convention, social norms, or otherwise extrinsic factors?”

Yet another spontaneous question, this time arising while looking in another patient’s ears and talking about their very young kids’ multiple sports and activities, the intensity and schedules of which rival that of my high schooler. “It’s what you do,” they said.

Getting married, having kids, buying a house, climbing the corporate ladder; PTA, kids’ sports, yoga, pickleball, having an opinion on everything: How much do we do these things because “it’s what you do”? Please understand, I’m not necessarily judging any of it. Social norms have purpose; they provide structure and order in our messy human lives. I also think it’s good to consider, regularly and often, how our personal values and goals align with our myriad forceful cultural defaults.

Where do convention and personal integrity intersect for maximum benefit, fulfillment, growth, and contribution?

I really like this question, I look forward to living it for a while, and I’m grateful to my patient for helping me form it.

Hey, National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) starts November 1! My 2023 theme reveal will drop here on October 31, so stay tuned. This will be Year 9 for me, and I think it could be transformative…

OK friends, now I get to tell you about my Big Fat Hairy Project.

I pitched my first ever book proposal to a kind young agent in June and received generous encouragement in response. Over the ensuing months, I have found myself stymied by fear and imposter syndrome, possibly to the point of physical pain. Admonishing myself to simply plant BUTT IN CHAIR was not enough to make me produce any content. Things shifted recently, though, not sure how or why. Maybe it’s the season? Maybe it’s seeing body changes in both function and appearance after 7 months of regular strength training, convicing me that I can do new and hard things? Maybe it’s connecting more closely with readers and writers, an innately inclusive, generous, and encouraging tribe? Regardless, there is movement afoot. Yay!

On October 15 I committed publicly to a nightly book work discipline: Typed word count, handwritten journal page count, time spent reading/researching, etc.–whatever I did, I resolved to track and share. I knew at some point I would need to actually write editable words in larger numbers–the shittiest first draft is better than no draft at all. But it was not until yesterday that I committed to something concrete there, too: 500 words three times a week or 1500 weekly words, however I can get them out.

Friends, the first 871 wildly imperfect words of my book now exist. O. M. G. And I will add more tonight! HOLY MOLY, is that momentum I feel? I have a weekly skeleton schedule written out: no book work required on days I see patients, at least to start. And I still need to consume books for my sanity (176 titles started this year and ohmygoodness, some are so good!). *sigh* I feel good in body and mind, joyous, solid, and buoyant, in this resolve and commitment.

If you’re interested, follow me on Instagram at @chenger91. Every Sunday I will post a photo of the laptop and my inspriational writing mug. Each day of that week I will log book work in that post’s comments. See 10/15 and 10/22 on the page now!

I wonder how I will stick to this and also write 30 blog posts in 30 days? WHOOO KNOWS?? It’s okay, I get to invent and evolve my way–nothing to lose! And I resolve to have FUN. Let’s do this.

I Hereby Commit to NaBloPoMo 2017! Day 1: Shitty First Drafts

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2015 November Gratitude Shorts

2016 Letters to Patients

2017 Field Notes from a Life in Medicine

Day 1:  Shitty First Drafts

I first heard this concept listening to Brené Brown’s book Rising Strong.  It refers to Anne Lamott’s writing process, described in her book Bird By Bird.  Brown uses it as a way to work through strong emotions.  When something hard happens, intense emotions can get the best of us.  Anger, resentment, defensiveness, judgment, shame, and a multitude of other difficult feelings can overcome our senses.  How can we keep from getting sucked into a raging emotional vortex, dragging others along with us?

Write a Shitty First Draft, or SFD for short.  I have done this a few times recently.  I take a pen and paper and let loose.  I vent, rant, SWEAR IN ALL CAPS, draw angry faces, scrawl everything I feel, with total abandon.  This is the first, most subjective and raw version of the story I just experienced.  Man, it feels good, documenting everything from this (self-)righteous point of view!  But it doesn’t stop there.  Sometime later—whenever I’m ready, I return to the SFD to edit and revise.  Curiosity is key here.  What other versions are also plausible?  What am I missing from the other side(s)?  What other story will allow me to suffer less?  What makes me so attached to the SFD?  What core value has been violated here?  What is the most generous assumption I can make about the other people involved? I also learned that last one from my girl B2.

Turns out some SFDs are easier to edit than others.  Seems it depends on the circumstances, relationships, and (inter)personal stakes involved.  In the end, though, it’s well worth the effort.  I realized it this week and posted a musing on Facebook, and my friend offered me a chance to expound:

“CC: Curiosity, Transparency, Integrity, and Openness are saving me right now.

“Friend: I’m glad they are but curious to know how they are?

“CC: They are keeping me focused on the best and most meaningful contribution I can make to the team. As more moving parts get added to the process, I can stand on these practices to respond effectively. In the end, regardless of the project outcome, hopefully I can look back and know that I have very little to regret. …And if I do regret anything, hopefully I will have at least also learned some valuable lessons.”

The more I practice my SFDs, the sooner I can get to healthier iterations of my life stories—ones that allow for forgiveness, equanimity, gentleness (on myself and others), and inner peace.  I used to secretly berate myself for not getting to the peace part faster, easier, more efficiently.  But now I know, the healthiest way out of the shitty feelings is straight through.  The Shitty First Draft is the perfect vehicle for getting to the other side, and I get to drive every time.