What Does Love Make Us?

https://www.nicolatyche.com/

“Love makes one weak.” –Soren, War Queen, Nicola Tyche

What think you, friends? Do you agree?

I respectfully disagreed as soon as I heard it the first time (I binged the series twice in a row–looking forward to writing more about it here soon) and each time since (I listen to exerpts repeatedly when the mood strikes), the line prompts me to counter more excitedly. So here is my partial list of what love does make us. What would you add?

Vulnerable.
At risk of being hurt or harmed due to exposure or lack of armor. To many, this equates with weakness. But is it really the same? Love can make us feel endangered, undefended, unarmed, and open to risk of disappointment, pain, abandonment, etc. Vulnerability feels soft and susceptible. And yes, it can seem like weakness. But if we get still and feel into our love, is it weakness that we sense? What does vulnerability in love actually feel like in mind, body, and spirit? I submit that it is giddy, tense, anticipatory, and maybe anxious. It’s a high energy state with an outward facing posture, no? What if we reframed ‘weakness’ in this context as ‘hopeful vulnerability, open to the possibility of harm in service of the great potential for connection’? As Brené Brown writes and says often, vulnerability is the foundation of courage.

Courageous.
Just think of all the brave things love makes us do. We stand up for our loved ones against bullies. The most introverted among us profess our love out loud and in public. We advocate for our most meaningful and heartfelt causes with conviction when love drives. This foundation of courage fuels us from a deeper place, and it is self-sustaining. I think of parental love here more than anything–Lorenzo’s Oil and stay-at-the-intensive-care- bedside-holding-your-baby’s-foot-because-it’s-the-only-part-of-his-body-not-covered-with-lines-or-monitors kind of love. Love makes us strong.

Powerful.
The most memorable and important human movements I can think of are all founded in love. Martin Luther King’s civil rights leadership and LGBTQ advocacy come to mind first. Love is love. That anyone has to fight for the right to live in full expression of their love boggles me. Here we are at the end of 2025 and the fight persists, and I am heartened that the pro-love movement in all its forms continues to show up in strength and power. There may always be opposition, and I am confident that love will always raise us to the challenge to overcome it.

Forgive.
I think this is true. Some of us may be more forgiving by nature, or more so in certain situations. But wronged in the same way by different people, I’m much more willing to forgive if I love you. There is something about the loving relationship, something about preserving the connection, that makes me repair ruptures much more willingly.

Willing.
Come to think of it, I’m much more willing to do a lot of things because I love, aren’t you?

Selfless.
Love makes us put others before ourselves. Parental, romantic, fraternal, platonic, Agape alike–think of all your favorite examples of altruism and sacrifice. Do they not all arise from some form of love? Just think if this were not the case–if love didn’t exist or didn’t have this effect on us. We’d all live in a world of utterly selfish competition, default assholery in front. Yuck.

Grow.
Love makes us stick with things and people. We choose perseverance over escape, at least some of the time. So if we pay attention and work to overcome conflict, if we engage and learn our and others’ patterns, then we grow. We change and evolve, even as we settle more and more into our core selves. Root down and branch out. Awesome.

Better.
Is there anything that makes us better more than love? Empathy, compassion, kindness, generosity, curiosity, humaneness; education, achievement, connection, security–all of these are either grounded in love or secondary to love in importance for our betterment as individuals and society alike.

What if we expressed and acknowledged love more explicitly in more domains? It feels natural in families and among friends, of course. I also love my patients and my colleagues. I made a new friend last week, an executive coach, who expresses love for his clients–he serves as kind and loving truth teller for them, and to hear him describe himself this way just made my heart sing. It’s one thing to operate by default from a place of love, something too few of us do. It’s another level up to consciously own it, profess it, to lead and live all the way into it with intention and purpose.

Oh no, love does not make us weak, dear Soren. I love you and you are, arguably, the strongest character in the trilogy. Your love at all levels makes every other character respect, follow, and love you back with the ardent loyalty and conviction that saves you all.

Love makes us everything good that his human. May we embrace and exude it, my friends.

Love Notes for Empathy

OK friends, I am positively obsessed with the Crowns trilogy by Nicola Tyche, oh my goodness. After binging the books, neglecting all others for two weeks, I started the whole series over almost immediately. I never do this! I found the paperback omnibus on Amazon today and purchased immediately; I’ll mark it up according to my audio bookmarks and hopefully document everything I admire about it here after this 30 day challenge ends. The wickedly twisted plot, heroic character development, and gorgeous prose–I’m easily affected by books, but this is truly beyond. This is the third set of Love Notes inspired by Crowns, and I won’t be surprised if it’s not the last.

What books have affected you deeply? Hmmm, maybe I’ll convene a book club around that question and others one day. That could be different and fun.

  1. When I feel your empathy, I trust you. I open to you. Thank you for this gift of human connection. Please keep offering this to us fellow humans.

2. To the judges therapists nurses law enforcement officers and all who experience the burden of vicarious trauma – may your empathy prevail over burnout.

3. Empathy requires openness and vulnerability – all human connection does. This means risk. May your bravery be rewarded so lavishly that it becomes your nature.

4. Hey friend – I know it can be hard, but let’s try our best to offer our empathy equally to all fellow humans, yes? It’s what we are called to, no?

5. When we come across someone from elsewhere, alone among us locals, may we imagine their feelings and engage with open kindness. It’s the good thing to do.

6. When I lashed out at you in anger and you turned to me in empathy and kindness, you changed me. I am still humbled and convicted from that moment. Thank you.

7. To my friends who bring stories to life – your own or others – thank you for fostering empathy and understandin(g) in us all.

8. Why is empathy so scary sometimes? Seeing ourselves in others, especially in their pain, is painful – thus scary. Let us call forth courage to face all our pain together.

9. “I’ve known this…” sadness grief loneliness anxiety May we all attend to this awareness and honor it.

10. Let us all attune and attend to the empathy of others, let the connection saturate us, so we may offer it widely, every day.

11. Empathy Kindness Compassion Generosity Connection — Regardless where we start, we can land on them all, and we’re all better for it.

12. Are your intentions malicious and hostile? No? then why might you automatically assume another’s are? Let us all practice more generously, please.

Oh I like this set, my friends. Definitely helps to have specific people in mind for each one.
Starting to consider what to do with these 360 love notes at the end of thirty days. Any ideas?