Monthly Archives: November 2016

A Little More Inspiration

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img_4550NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 18

To Patients Seeking Inspiration:

May you find it all around you!

Today I want to share Donna’s and my 3 Question Journal shares from yesterday.  To learn more about the practice, check out yesterday’s post.  Please join us!  See our ongoing thread on Day 9.

Today I also reference Donna’s post from yesterday, as its raw vulnerability inspires me, too. 🙂

Donna:

Hi, Cathy, I cheated a bit. I prefer to think of it as creative accounting.
SURPRISED to discover how much easier it is to stay focused on the lectures in my audio course if I color while I’m listening. If I try to listen while idle, I drift away. Hmmm, this is an area where multi-tasking is actually beneficial.
I’m making this a two-fer:
INSPIRED and TOUCHED by many of the speeches at the National Book Awards: Rep. John Lewis tearfully relating how as a teenager he was refused a library card because he was black, and now he was on stage accepting a National Book Award. Colson Whitehead’s “formula” for feeling better in these worrisome times: “Be kind to everybody. Make art and fight the power.” And poet Toi Derricotte’s declaration that “joy is an act of resistance.”
Hope you’ve had a great day today, Cathy, and will have a better one tomorrow. See you then!

Me:

Hi Donna! I heard parts of those speeches on NPR this morning, too! And yes, very moving.
I just arrived in Champaign for the American College of Physicians Illinois Chapter Meeting. Tomorrow morning I will give a fifteen minute summary of highlights from the international physician health conference.
I’m surprised at how not nervous I am about this talk. But then again, maybe there is no need. I know this stuff, I love it. There are no facts to memorize, only passion and inspiration to share!
I am moved by my conversation with my friend in the car. We talked for 121 miles and then some. We realized that we have been each other’s mentors in different ways these last few years. I also realized that knowing her has made me more confident, more brave, and more *my best self*.  Truly moving.
I’m inspired by the message I’m about to deliver tomorrow. The profession struggles to sustain its calling. Our circumstances undermine the meaning in our work, obscure our calling. And yet, like you posted today, the well will still fill, from the deep. Oh my gosh!! I think I will quote you tomorrow!! OMG it’s PERFECT!! YOU inspire me, Donna!!!
It’s gonna be great. Because I have so much inspiration all around me.
This was a pretty great day, Donna.
I hope your well fills in a little and a lot more every day. Let’s look for that 3:1 ratio, and continue our journal. It’s really helping me! …And staying off of Facebook is also paying off–in time, energy, and mood. Hugs to you, friend!!

On Inspiration

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dsc_0460NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 17

To Patients Who Share Your Stories:

You inspire me.

For the past week or so Donna Cameron and I have practiced the 3 Question Journal, since I wrote about it 9 days ago.  Every day we look for one thing each that surprised us, touched us, and inspired us.

I find that my inspiration comes almost always from my interactions with others, and often from patients.  It’s the stories.  I bring my laptop into the exam room, and I notice when I stop typing and sit forward, usually chin in hand, to listen to what you have to say.  Usually you’re telling me about a problem you solved at work, or your kids, or that crazy illness or injury you overcame.  You look and sound proud, confident.  You sit up straighter.

The stories from past and present help me tie together your symptoms.  Maybe you get headaches more lately.  But you’re not stressed, you say.  Then looking back, well, your mom has been losing her memory fast the past year.  And your co-worker was diagnosed with cancer.  You found mold in your basement and it’s going to cost you both time and money to abate it.  Oh, and your only son will graduate from high school next year.  Hmmmm, are you sure you only have headaches and not other symptoms, too?  Yeah, you say, you’re actually doing pretty well, all things considered!

I never know what will come up when I see you.  If our relationship is established and positive, I will always look forward to your next visit.  I can’t wait to catch up.  I want to hear what you’ve noticed about your health habits, their consequences and interactions, since we last met.  The little things make me giddy—like the newfound flexibility after a couple of yoga classes, or the discovery of a new favorite health food—who knew quinoa was so delicious as a hot breakfast ?

Maybe the best part comes when I can really relate to a story you tell.  Wow, I think, we live parallel lives!  We struggle with the same barriers to healthy habits.  We share the common experience of perfectionism and self-doubt.  We both seek acknowledgement that we’re doing our best, and forgiveness for our mistakes.  We are all simply human.

Please keep sharing your stories.  You inspire me more than you know.

On Readiness

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NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 16

To Patients Contemplating Change:

You’ll do it when you’re ready.  And you’ll know.

My 24 hour Facebook fast is 90% complete, and I feel GREAT!!  Holy COW, I’ve been so productive, and for the most part I feel liberated and lightened.  The darkness of increasing online tension had spread over my consciousness rather insidiously, like a slime mold.  It’s not that I was totally unaware, or that I underestimated its toxic influences; I was just not ready to stop it.  The cost/benefit balance finally tipped and I was moved to act.  It’s that simple and that complicated.

Today I reviewed my notes from the physician health conference 2 months ago.  I came across an important exercise that illustrates my point.  The speaker had us make two lists: energy-depleting activities and energy-enhancing ones.  My second item on the former list was “Facebook+/-“.  It was the third item my latter list.  She then asked us: If we had 2 extra hours a day, what would we do more?  –Read, write, go outside, meditate, do stuff with kids (outside), plan road trips.  Then, if we had 2 fewer hours per day, what would we cut out?  –Facebook/news, TV/movies.

That was two months ago.  I knew I ‘should’ cut down on my Facebooking, but I was not ready.  Yesterday, finally, I crossed a threshold and the decision was easy.

I hear this all the time from patients.  “I know I should eat healthier.  I know I should exercise more.  I know I should quit smoking, cut back on the alcohol, go to bed earlier, address my relationship problems.”  And, “…I just don’t.”  Both patients and physicians can easily slide into judgment here, thinking, “If you know you should, why don’t you just do it?”  Defensiveness and self-loathing follow closely behind these words.

On the other hand, when patients return having cut out red meat, quit tobacco, and joined a basketball club, I ask them, “What happened?”  Most of the time I hear, “I don’t know.  Something just clicked and I decided it was time.  …And suddenly it was easy.”  Sometimes they identify an a-ha moment—when they first held their newborn baby, for example.  But more often there is no cloud-parting epiphany.  They simply cross the threshold of readiness to change, while walking the journey of life.

I confess I am guilty of impatience and judgment.  When I see your uncontrolled, lifestyle-related medical problems, and you resist behavior change, I feel frustrated.  I know you feel it, too.  But know that I don’t blame you.  If we all did everything we knew we ‘should,’ then—well—you fill in the blank.  The point is: we don’t make changes until we are ready.  Certainly we facilitate readiness—that’s a topic for another post.   Suffice it to say: I see you.  I know you want to live healthy.  You will know when you’re ready, and you’ll move.  Until then, I’m still here with you.