Category Archives: gratitude

Invitation to Witness

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Thank you for sharing.

What a privilege to be allowed into your life, your world, the space and time you inhabit in your own unique way. I know not everybody is invited; please know I do not take it for granted.

Your experience is your own and I cannot truly or fully understand, perhaps. But I can imagine. I will always do my best to be present to and for you–your joys, accomplishments, discoveries, epiphanies, sorrows, pain, and suffering. I will do my best to monitor and mitigate my own judgments and projections, and simply hold the space with and for you.

While I imagine how I might feel in your shoes, I will try harder to imagine how you feel in your shoes, and attend to that. I will be sparing with my advice and generous with the validation, though I know I stumble at that sometimes.

This witnessing, when mutual and reciprocal, nourishes my soul in ways I can hardly articulate. We take turns and also do it simultaneously, depending on what’s happening. We’ve been through a lot, not necessarily together, but each with the other witnessing. It is an act of volition, something we do on purpose for each other and our friendship. I feel the strength and support in real time, and the realization of the profound importance and impact of your seeing me is only fully apparent in hindsight. Wow.

How would we live, how would the world feel, if we all considered ourselves reverent witnesses of one another’s lives? If we attended to our collective psyches and hearts as if we were all kindergarteners crossing the street hand in hand?

What if we all just cared about each other a little more overtly and intetionally in this witnessing way?

Connecting Through Fire

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Courtesy of Bryan Jorgensen, Las Vegas, NV, 2016

We each harbor a fire.
A glow. It’s deep, warm, bright, and constant.
It also resonates–has a wavelength and frequency of vibration–so it’s synaesthetic!

Does it carry or found our identity? Unclear.
Regardless, it’s there, it’s real, and it’s us.

When we connect meaningfully, be it with nature, other humans, music, or any other energy, I submit that it is from there, from that deep fire source.

And yet the layers–how many, how thick, how enmeshed, tangled, or loose–the coverings, the doors, blankets, and shields–applied, attracted, accumulated.

My wish is for us each and all to have easy access to that fire, to feel confidence in its reliable and constant presence and stability. It is the stable anchor that allows the boat of all experiences–autonomous and proactive, reactive and receptive–to withstand whatever comes with the security of attachment to place and belonging.
Moored to move. Rooted down to branch out.
Anchored to liberate: the longest, strongest leash.

The core furnace fire burns, emitting light and heat with purpose and contribution–and legacy.

My deepest and warmest thanks to the three friends who showed up to connect tonight. I see your fires, I feel their warmth and bask in their light, and you all make mine burn brighter, no question. That we could commune from across the country on screen, three of you having never met before, and forge what we did–just wow. This is connection. We get to co-create it wherever, whenever, however. We get to choose. Thank you.

Healing Through Connection Turns 10 This Month

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Dear Friends,

Oh my goodness. It’s been a decade. Holy cow. I’m in the feels, people.

I published the very first post here on April 14, 2015, The Premise. Reading it again now (I can’t remember the last time I read it), I’m proud that I can still stand firmly and proudly behind every sentence. At that time, I had only begun to speak nationally on physician burnout and well-being, culminating in multiple memorable and rewarding collaborations until right before the pandemic. That work carries on now without my direct participation, still championed by colleagues whom I admire more than words can express. My own work in wellness has since touched other professions including design, law, and state and federal judiciaries. How humbling to be invited into these spaces; what a privilege. Every opportunity teaches me, broadens my perspective, and reinforces my Premise:

“Patients and physicians have control over one thing above all else: our relationship with each other.  Relationships live and die by communication.  Barriers on the obstacle course of patient-physician communication loom large and formidable. Our system fails us over and again. And it falls to each of us, not the system, to find our way to connection and healing relationships.”

I thought our healthcare system was broken a decade ago; and here we are, worse off still in too many ways to count. Now more than ever, it is our relationships that will save us. It’s another paradox, connection: So important and fundamental, such a necessity, and also kind of mundane. It can happen in the smallest of moments–a glance, a fleeting facial expression, a passing vibe, a shared language–which can be lifesaving and also taken for granted. It can also require collossal effort–tremendous self-restraint, courage, and tenacity–to achieve it across deep and complex conflict and separation. I submit that both/all forms of connection are equally valuable and necessary for us humans to thrive. The longer I live, learn, practice, and write, the more I believe this to my bones.

It did not occur to me until today to do something big and special for my 10th blog birthday. Honestly I had thought of sunsetting the whole thing before the renewal date rolled around last month. But since I had not made any plans or decisions, I paid the fee and here we are.

So let’s have some fun this month, eh?

I think I’ll try to post daily. Nothing too labor intensive, no obligations, no rules. It’s my birthday party and I’ll write if I want to. I have 100 drafts waiting to expand and engage, four occurring just in the space of this morning’s commute.

It really is all about Connection: This blog, medicine, health, wellness, relationships, life.

How ironic: The world feels more divided and polarized, separated and divergent now than I can remember in my lifetime. And yet in my life personally, I feel more connected to people everywhere now than ever. What is that about? How fascinating and wonderful! Let me attempt to explore it and share in the next 28 days, yes?

Healing Through Connection. Connecting in all possible ways, for the good of us all. It’s what we live for, I’m convinced. So let’s dive in, celebrate, and see what emerges! Oh, this could be fun. See you tomorrow!

Love,
Cathy