Category Archives: Inspiration

Writing

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*sigh*

It’s possible that of them all, my relationship with writing is my healthiest. I love it and it loves me, a lifelong love affair. Neither of us harbors unrealistic expectations of the other. Each is wholly joyful when the other shows up to play, and neither feels jealous when the other has been away a while. We are intimate, honest, no pretenses, no conditions; full of possibility and openness. Our encounters are colorful, expressive, portable. I can think of few interactions that so consistently provide such comfort, relief, connection, and insight. True love.

How is my writing already good?
–I enjoy it so much, it makes me so happy, and it makes me better. If I did it just for me, this would be enough.
–My writing for others is generally well received, based on feedback: clinic notes, Day of Care summaries, letters, cards, emails, social media posts and comments, and this blog. So I do some good for others with my writing, which is rewarding.
–I have a distinct voice, which I work to keep honest and authentic. I write about serious things and I choose my words with serious intent, for the most part. I try also, however, to not take myself too seriously when I write (or ever).
–I show up to my writing all me, all in. I moderate the BOOBS OUTness according to circumstances. I feel both humble and confident about my better output, glad to have it out in the world.

How could I do it better?
–Distinct voice notwithstanding, my style could be more polished, no? Not sure what that would read/sound like…I have a feeling the book will read differently from the blog?
–Conciseness. I think I’m getting better at this? Some see my triplet tendency as redundant. So I will ask more often now whether one word is good enough when I typically use three (wince).
–Discipline. Daily. Huh. Not sure what book work will look like, but it definitely needs to be more consistent than my writing habits to date. More on this tomorrow…
–Judgment. Looking back, I have been harsh when editing others’ writing. I regret this. I know how to be kinder and gentler now.
–Diversify. That Creativity poem post was super fun to write, and surprisingly easy. I thought on October 31 that I could try more poetry this month, but it took starting a post at 11:30pm to make me actually do it. And I feel a fiction niggle somewhere deep in my intuition of possibility… oooooo…

What’s already good about society’s writing?

Holy COW, the talent. My jaw drops at the utter giftedness of writers all around the world, in every genre. The imagination, vulnerability, creativity, insight, eloquence–OH MY GOD I stand, sit, read, and listen in awe too often to count. I will never get to benefit from all of the amazing authors’ works–I think that is why I feel urgency to consume as many books as possible–it’s more the addictive GOC (Glow of Consumption) than FOMO. BRAVA and BRAVO to all writers out there–STRONG WORK and WRITE ON!!

Utterly inclusive community OMG. Once again I nod to romance. I wrote to my book club friends, “My romance immersion has broadened my life more than I could have imagined. I connect with readers, writers, and narrators/voice actors directly and learn all about the art, the work, the processes. I have experienced renaissance sexual and relational education that would be hard to get any other way as easily or enjoyably. As with any good fiction, the empathic connection and insights I gain from these books is shockingly useful and applicable in my work and life. The writing community I have connected with through consuming romance is incredibly diverse, knowledgeable, and inclusive. It has all only made my life exponentially better, which I cannot say about many other things..maybe joining my gym.” I see collegiality and mutual advocacy in few other fields as much as among writers–they promote one another’s books, collaborate often, and generally just celebrate each other. What a fabulous example for other professions to emulate!

How could we write better together?

Stop with the banning. Or don’t, actually. The more restrictive and controlling an authority gets, the more it attempts to repress ideas, the more creative, incisive, and subversive the ideas get. The strongest, more inspirational and widely rallying ideas emerge in writing, and always find their intended audience, ban or no ban. So go ahead, ban whatever you want. See what happens. I can just hear my fellow writers: “Bring it.”

Keep it real, not cheap. Text, email, social media posts and comments, direct messages, etc: Fast, convenient, easy. Also high risk for misinterpretation. misunderstanding, and relationship damage. I transgress as much as anyone. Let us slow down and attend to all forms of communication with the presence and respect we all deserve from one another. Less ‘on-the-fly,’ more ‘I’m here with you,’ even if ‘here’ is not face to face.

More snail mail. Write by hand, send it through the post. It’s love on paper and it is priceless. Challenge: This holiday, ink your greetings personally, even just a few words and a smiley face. It will take more time and effort. See how it affects your connections.

30/30 tomorrow, my friends, woo hoooooooo!! What a month in time to debrief, can’t wait can’t wait!

Creativity

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Normally I hate to rhyme
But tonight I’ve run out of time
Because I really want to get to bed
And this post has still not formed in my head

So I’ll try something new again, yes?
And attempt my readers to impress
With some on-the-fly verse
In my experimental mindset I immerse!

How is my creativity already good?
It starts when I reject the “should”
When I honor my own desire to create
I can let go or embrace things I’d normally hate!

Making things brings me such joy
When both left and right brains I readily employ
To create from love, connection, and skill
My highest values I share and fulfill

I prove to myself the things I can do
And show others they can do a lot, too.
Then we can all revel in the fun
Having bonded and made memories when we are done

How could I do creativity better?
Would it be painting, knitting or crafting a letter?
So many media, opportunities to learn
Anything new, I could take a turn

Probably some more armor to shed
Not even sure where it lives in my head
Fiction has always seemed an off-limits art
But perhaps I, too, can make up stories from the heart?

How do we collectively already create well?
This is where I feel really proud, hell–
What is there that we humans cannot do
When we let our imaginations free of conformist and conventional goo?

New ideas and creations spring forth any given moment
From necessity, inspiration, incentive, or torment
This is where I feel the most optimism and hope
Because anything we make could stop our slide down the slope
Of division, separation, violence and greed
If we our highest humanity heed

So how can we do creativity better?
How can each of us be a making jetsetter?
Free our minds and hearts, I want to shout!
It is only by trying that we may find out
What great heights of connection we could achieve
If only I, you, and we all really believe

That no matter what fuckups we’ve perpetrated to date,
As long as we love it’s still not too late
We can always create, make at least one thing good
Because while we are all still here each one of us could
Choose to show up with imagination, openness, and, “Hmmmm”
And get our most collaborative vibes to thrum

Hey this has been pretty good, don’t you think?
And it only took a few minutes of rink and tink
Maybe poetry is what I might try more of soon
I could give it another shot before the next moon.

For now, however, four in the month left to go
I have ideas beyond November to show
But off to bed for me, and friends–
May your day be bright and your joy never end!


Love

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AIYAH LOVE!! *sigh* Let’s see, romance, presence, leadership, accountability, integrity, forgiveness, self-compassion, relationships–the majority of my topics this month overlap deeply with love. And of all the practices I address these thirty days, is there any more important? What are we humans without love? The word is overused, perhaps, and yet every time I hear or say it, I can still choose to ascribe the deepest meaning, thereby reminding myself how it guides me, makes me better, helps me be the person I want to be.

How do I love well already?
–I’m pretty full of it–love, I mean–and it exudes. In some circumstances I am much more reserved about expressing, and even then I’m always looking for opportunities and maximizing within existing constraints. And I’m getting more expressive with age. As life gets shorter, I feel more urgency for those I love to know and feel it unequivocally.
–I relish and amplify the love I see, hear, and feel around me. I endorse fluidity between platonic, romantic, sexual, intellectual, spiritual, and other manifestations of love. Love, in my opinion, is bigger than our rational minds can comprehend or define (though our efforts to do so reward and connect us!), thus I am open to any and all of its authentic manifestations.

How could I do it better?
–I don’t always hold love first and in front in dealing with people. It’s easy with people I like and when circumstances are easy. I’m getting better with people I dislike, and when times are hard.
–I can make mindful love, both inward and outward, a more formal practice and discipline. Just like a parent can only be as happy as their saddest child, I bet we can only show up as loving to others as we do to ourselves.

How does society love well?

Examples Abound. Considering what a sh*tshow the world is right now, we could not be blamed for thinking there is no love anywhere anymore, or if there is, it’s overtaken by anger, hate, and violence. But I bet you could name at least five examples of visible and palpable love in your own life right now. So what is up with that? How can we be loving between family and friends, and also dehumanizing and utterly toxic in other contexts? Just think if we all gave one another, individuals and groups alike, a little benefit of the doubt, made more generous assumptions, and really tried to walk in other people’s shoes? It’s simple in theory, very difficult in practice, and well worth the effort, I think.
My media feed shows me organizations that exemplify love, rather than news. I’m so much better for it. Some examples, in case you’re interested:

Upworthy. A subsidiary of Good Worldwide: A “B-corp social impact company with a global audience of over 150 million people. Since 2006 Good Worldwide has been on a mission to empower people and organizations to be a force for good, together.”
More Love Letters. Submit a request for snail mail love letters from around the world for your loved one having a hard time right now. Better yet, write them to someone else! 5 recipients chosen every month. You still have time to write to the November crew.
Elephant Journal. “We’re dedicated to sharing the good life beyond the choir, and to all those who didn’t yet know they give a care about living a good, fun life that’s good for others, and our planet. The mindful life is about yoga, organics, sustainability, conscious consumerism, enlightened education, the contemplative arts, adventure, bicycling, family…everything. But mostly it’s about this present moment, right here, right now, and how we can best be of benefit, and have a good time doing so.”
Charities. The Greater Chicago Food Depository. The Food Bank of the Rockies. So many groups doing good. If you don’t already have ones you love, study these three sites to find ones that align with your values and are legit.
Communities. In 2023, as I have written repeatedly, my romance novel and fitness communities have transformed my life. I honestly do not think I would/could have committed to writing a book without the support and love of these amazing folks. What communities do you love, and love you back?

How could we all do better?

Meet Unlove With Love. The more disciplined each of us can be about leading with love, the less we can be baited into heated argument, pointless debate, and mutual agitation and separation. People do not lash out when they are well. Name calling and dehumanizing in response to their negative behaviors helps nothing and nobody. Breathe deeply, bite thy tongue. Reverse that excellent mantra: Take no shit, and do no harm.

Play the Infinite Game. Showing love in your next encounter with a stranger will not solve the world’s problems. Doing it with every person you meet next year, and for the next ten or fifty years, will not itself bring about world peace. But if you and I do this, which then encourages those we meet to do it also, we can bet that we are not contributing to the world’s problems. This practice among others gives me inner peace, which allows me to keep playing, to stay in the game of making the world better, much longer than if I burn out from cynical exhaustion and pessimism.

Of these twenty posts so far, I feel the most lighthearted and uplifted writing about romance and love. Huh, fascinating. It’s about hope, I think. Deep emotional and psychological connection, bonds that we actively choose to cultivate and sustain–these things give my life the most meaning, purpose, and reward. How awesome.