Breaking Point

“Dr. Cheng, I feel dizzy.”

We’ll call him Joe. I miss Joe. I met him in his early 60s, a pleasant, dapper, rotund man with a jovial demeanor and well-groomed mustache. He was always on time to his appointments and came with crisp reports on his subjective state of health. Whenever I saw Joe on my clinic schedule, I knew at least that part of my day would be good.

Joe lived a conscientious lifestyle. He paid attention to food and movement, and cultivated relationships that held him up in life. When I think of Joe, I remember feeling unworried about his habits and longevity. So it bugged me that his blood pressure was never well controlled. On maximum doses of four medications, it was consistently 140/90 (ideal is 120/80 or less), and it just would not come down. Luckily for me, his previous doctor had done all of the appropriate work up, including sleep study, kidney imaging, stress testing, etc. Eventually they decided together that this was as good as it would get, and Joe would just focus on doing the healthiest things he could every day and get on with life. I concurred.

So when I got the call months later that he was dizzy, my heart sank. We agreed he would come in that day and we’d figure out next steps. I was prepared to call the emergency department and my cardiology friends to let them know I was sending him over for a cardiac event. But on arrival he didn’t look ill or unwell, just moved a little more slowly. His mood was great, though, maybe even better than usual. I asked him why, what had changed? “I retired!”

His blood pressure was 90/60. He was still taking all four of his blood pressure medications, like the diligent patient that he was.

Back then, in a typical primary care practice seeing a patient every 15 minutes, I did not consistently ask deep questions about people’s work stress and meaning, like I do now. Turns out, Joe had a lot of mental stress at work. He managed it well, though–never lashed out at people, never let it affect his performance. Colleagues threw him a big party and he retired feeling satisfied, looking forward to his next life chapter. And it wasn’t until later that he realized how much his work had cost him in health. Over the next several days, we learned that he only needed a low dose of one medication to keep his blood pressure in the 110/70s. The dizziness went away. I think he was getting ready to go on a cruise. I left the practice soon thereafter, and I don’t know about Joe now. I hope he’s still happy and well.

I remember this story so clearly because until recently, it stood out as unique–that my patient could correlate such a dramatic improvement in a crucial vital sign and a leading risk factor for heart disease to retiring from a stressful job.

Not so unique anymore, though. This year, no fewer than four of my patients have experienced the same thing, but in the opposite direction. Having never had high blood pressure before, they all called me with new symptoms: headache, fatigue, full body tension, and just feeling off. Before calling, they thought to monitor their blood pressure, and all of them reported consistent home readings well above 150/90. And they all knew exactly when it started, all correlated with severe work stress escalation. Adjuvant factors included increased travel, longer work hours on global calls, less time for exercise, and continued business eating. It’s all a downward spiral, for sure, and I submit that the underlying cause, the change that makes four people present suddenly in these six months, is our post-pandemic work environment. While I welcome the increased flexibility and autonomy of a hybrid office model, I’m not sure the net effect is good for us long term. Work-life boundaries have perforated, if they even still exist at all. Given the volume of articles in business periodicals progressing from ‘quiet quitting’ to overt labor force decimation, it’s quite clear to me that we have not invented a kinder, more effective work culture. More and more I hear and feel an ‘us versus them’ gulf growing between workers and leaders–yet another relationship domain affected by polarization. It’s as if the short term, profit driven, make money at any cost prepandemic ethos, suppressed and reassessed (I thought?) during three years of acute obligatory disruption, became an abscess that has now ruptured and resurged–exploding like ‘pus under pressure,’ as we say. Organizations scramble to restore anteCOVID earning and productivity status, still measuring success and achievement with the same metrics as before nature showed us how vulnerable we and all of our systems are. We have learned nothing.

All of these patients are now taking at least one blood pressure medication, pulling hard on their stress management skills, and maybe reassessing whether staying in their current roles is worth the cost to their health and relationships. We connect regularly and I always ask, how much longer can you keep this up? How will you know when enough is enough? What will you do then? I don’t recommend that people quit their jobs–that is not my place. But I ask the important questions, lovingly and bluntly.

What does it cost us indeed, as a society, to be killing our workers this way? When will we recognize that sacrificing people in the short term actually wrecks collective success in the long term? When will our culture value people over profit? I hold leaders accountable for their relational output at work, and I also recognize that they–as we all–are simultaneously agents and victims of our complex adaptive systems. Culture does not change easily.

If I have any hand in it, however, more of us will move closer to challenging and changing the most toxic aspects of business culture, one organization, one team, one person, one interaction at a time.

Friction, Traction, and Drag

On our way to any destination, what helps and hinders our progress?

I am currently halfway through reading The Human Element: Overcoming the Resistance That Awaits New Ideas by Loran Nordgren and David Schonthal, which I recommend. It describes “the four Frictions” that keep us from adopting new ideas or behaviors: Inertia, Effort, Emotion, and Reactance. How fascinating and helpful! It makes sense to think of friction as something that hinders motion and progress, something to be overcome. We consider kinetic energy wasted when friction converts it to heat, and experience real consequences of equipment failure, injury, and stagnation from the burn of chafing contact in motion.

Then again, when is friction desirable? Imagine hiking, mountain climbing, or attempting to traverse any path with the surface covered in a sheet of smooth ice or a thick oil slick. Either we get nowhere, or somewhere we don’t want ‘way too fast. Even for Olympic speed skaters, blade contact with the most pristine ice track still requires some friction–an ideal amount–to gain enough purchase to push against and maintain control.

I submit that in movement of any kind–physical, political, behavioral, emotional, etc–we need optimal friction. Stability requires friction; we depend on it for orientation, to know where we start. Optimal friction coefficient over an ideal surface area provides traction–enough resistance to push against, the stability to launch forward with power. Tire treads, soccer cleats, chalk on a pool cue–we know how to modify objects for maximal traction and performance.

How can we modify our mindsets similarly? What does it cost us to make everything too easy, to remove all friction on the path to achievement? For three years I have exercised in my basement, doing things I know, challenging myself minimally. I have gained strength and maintained confidence in my movements, and also stagnated in my fitness. Joining a fitness community pushes me; I get to reassess my assumptions of capacity and limits. It introduces healthy friction. The tribe here gives me something to test against, strengthening through challenge, elevating my achievement. Additionally, I feel positive peer pressure to eat healthier, a perennial stuggle for me. Communing with folks who care for their bodies with whole foods increases the psychological discomfort (friction?) I feel from eating junk–even when I’m not with them–and voila, my nutrition patterns are changing for the better.

What is the relationship between friction, traction, and drag?

Friction can help or hinder. Traction requries an optimal quantity and distribution of friction for both stability and mobility–I think of it as a kind of potential energy. We understand the concept of traction easily from common vernacular, but what about ‘drag’, other than as late 20th Century social slang? I love the internet, where you can Google, “What is drag in physics” and get it directly from NASA:

“Drag is a mechanical force. It is generated by the interaction and contact of a solid body with a fluid (liquid or gas). It is not generated by a force field, in the sense of a gravitational field or an electromagnetic field, where one object can affect another object without being in physical contact. For drag to be generated, the solid body must be in contact with the fluid. If there is no fluid, there is no drag. Drag is generated by the difference in velocity between the solid object and the fluid. There must be motion between the object and the fluid. If there is no motion, there is no drag. It makes no difference whether the object moves through a static fluid or whether the fluid moves past a static solid object.”

So drag is the resistance of the milieu to movement of an object. It is the cultural current against which innovation swims upstream, a result of the inherent viscosity of any given system. I think of it as another form of friction, but one that only hinders.

If I’m trying to change, to move something, what are the sources of negative friction, positive traction, and drag? Of these, which are modifiable and not? Where and how can I gain a foothold or grip, to push or pull myself onward? Where do I need to apply some lubricant and relieve or release a counterproductive grind? How does the environment need to change, or how can I change my orientation within it, so I may glide more easily toward my goal?

“Drag is generated by the difference in velocity between the solid object and the fluid.” Hmmm. So if I claim my role as change agent, then I must decide how much drag I’m willing and able to tolerate, how much I can afford in cost of fuel for thrust, and what velocity of change will satisfy me. I have to think that my vector matters, also. Head on opposition to a strong and established current, versus a hard left diversion, versus introducing a small fork or bumper in the terrain… I can consider all of these and more, depending on my goals and the ambient conditions.

OH this is such a fun thought experiment! Framing my goals, plans, and actions in terms of friction, traction, and drag allows me to step back from my own tunnel vision, to see a complex adaptive system perhaps more concretely and objectively, even dispassionately. Whether it’s my own personal health habits or the professional culture of medicine, this analogy feels helpful. I wonder how it will continue to manifest hereafter?

It’s a Lovefest, OMG

“My gift from the universe is all the amazing people I meet.  My way of paying forward is to connect you all to one another.” –text from me to Tim Cohen

How does one person get so lucky?  For years now I am convinced, knowing this many smart, creative, loving, generous, and committed people cannot be for no reason. I am a magnet for my tribe from all over: readers, learners, helpers, leaders. Why would this be, if not for them all to know one another through me? What a win-win!

I met Tim at Ethos Training Systems before the pandemic. ‘Ethos’ is the perfect name for the business, and I felt immediately connected–we share a holistic approach to whole person health. Tim knows his clients as whole people, not just members of his gym. He studies how sleep, nutrition, and stress impact exercise performance, and takes an integrative approach to helping people–I consider that he and his team conduct a practice more than a business. I took a class in January 2020, led by Coach Ryan, and loved it. I was surrounded by people more fit and versed in the movements than I, and yet I felt welcomed and included. COVID shut down operations not long thereafter, and Tim invited me to an Instagram Live session to help clients understand, anticipate, and prepare for what was coming. I kept in touch and helped them prepare for reopening safely, and the place and its people have thrived since. Tim and I recently reconnected, and he invited me back to classes. Ryan still coaches, and this time I also met Coach Jacob. What sets this team apart is, indeed, their ethos (and it’s one of my favorite words). Everybody I have met exemplifies a growth mindset, always seeking new knowledge, integrating new learnings with existing expertise–faster, higher, stronger! They read widely and deeply, sharing enthusiastically with one another and me. Their collective vibe is palpable–we all matter, our potential is boundless, and we are all here to help one another. They attend to class participants with full engagement, watching for subtle breaks in position and stability. They approach with humility and caring, correcting while explaining the rationale and application in functional movement. I have only experienced such a holistic and loving training encounter with one other person.

I started training with Melissa Orth-Fray in January 2014, at age 40. In August of 2015, I wrote this homage (I’m so glad I have documented this journey!), concluding thusly:

“Melissa helps me stay on course in training with knowledge, application, openness and compassion. I can do the same for my patients and their health. When I withhold judgment about patients’ physical and motivational limitations, I make it safe for them to bring their fears and aspirations to every visit. I can meet them where they are each time, and hold space for the inevitable roadblocks: medication side effects, obstacles to behavior change, complications of treatment. We can then find a way through together, because we both know we’re in it for the long haul. Physicians and trainers may have more in common than we think.”

Melissa’s expertise has broadened, deepened, and integrated remarkably in the last few years. I don’t understand most of what she does (neuromuscular and reflex integration; somatic education-??). I just know it helps people and her work needs to be amplified and accessible to more people, no question. She has relocated to California, and developed a practice that works over video, as evidenced by multiple patients whom I have referred and who benefit from her help. When she told me she was coming back to town this month, I scheduled a session right away and invited the Ethos team to come and observe. We are all fluent in the mind-body, it’s-all-connected language; Melissa and I knew the ‘boys’ would appreciate the introduction. During our hours together, we invited their questions and feedback. I described my experience in words as they witnessed first hand the changes in my movements, my body and energy responses to treatment.

The whole time, all I felt was love and connection. I was under the care of my friend and trainer again. I was sharing her and all of her expertise with my new friends, whom I have adopted as brothers in the helping professions. What I most wanted to demonstrate, I only realized later, was the profound depth of relationship and trust between Melissa and me, and how foundational that is to the success of any therapeutic encounter. I think we all felt it; I left with a deep sense of mutual reverence and respect.

I have lived long enough to know that relationship and connection cannot be forced. I expressed to all parties in advance that nobody should feel obligation, pressure, or expectation for friendship and collaboration. Such bonding occurs organically, and often only over time. I simply wanted to facilitate the initial proximity, in service of possibility and potential. Now we go home, stay open, and allow complex adaptive emergence to occur as it will. SO exciting, and I hold it loosely.

My friends, this is what I wish for you: That you may find connection and mutual uplift from anyone you might meet, and that these connections help us all live more meaningful, loving, and fulfilling lives.

Ryan, Cathy, Melissa, Tim, Jacob