What Counts?

Tainan, Taiwan

On January 15 this year I posted about a new habit I had committed to establishing:

1. Upon waking, get sunlight for at least several minutes before getting on any screen
2. Delay caffeine intake for at least 45 minutes after waking

I also committed to writing Morning Pages (3 pages, long hand, stream of consciousness journaling) in those first 15-30 minutes, which was actually the primary goal. The point of the practice is to unlock clarity and creativity in those first minutes of waking, when the door between conscious and subconscious awareness and insight is more open than at other times of day. Today was Day 310 total (I miss a few days a month, on average). But it was delayed, so did it count?

I do three high intensity workouts at Ethos every week. It gets harder to motivate to do things at home anymore, and yesterday I felt sheepishly happy to Iog 20 minutes of moderate effort on the elliptical. That counts as exercise, in my opinion. But what if I had only walked to the grocery store and back (which I also did)? What intensity and duration justifies that green dot on my habit tracker?

What counts as meditation, prayer, or ‘low carb’?

Why does it matter?

How many times a day do we encounter one recommendation or another for how many steps we should take, how much protein to eat, what school of meditation is best, what sleep routines to adopt, and how many people we need in our inner circle? If we wanted to follow all of the ‘experts” advice for health, just reading the recommendations and attempting to execute would be a full time job.

Of course I get to decide what counts as Morning Pages or exercise or not, because I am only accountable to myself for the habits and behaviors that uphold my own health. In the end it’s about goals, trade-offs, and results. Why do I do these things? What am I trying to accomplish? What am I willing and not willing to do for the desired outcomes?

What works for me, regardless of what ‘experts’ say and ‘studies show’?

Morning pages make my day better whether I have looked out the window or at my phone beforehand, though the insights may come a bit easier with the former, because I always spend more time on the phone than I intend. But it still usually takes at least a page and a half before novel ideas and epiphanies emerge. Regardless, I feel calmer and centered having journaled at all before the day starts in earnest.

Moving in any way for any amount of time benefits both mind and body, and I can both feel and see consequences of variations in frequency, duration, and intensity over days, weeks, and months. If I move above and beyond activities of daily living and work, then I count it, track it, and review over time to correlate with how I feel.

I see people getting fixated on ‘what counts’. Our culture of metrics, trackers, comparison, and competition foster this tendency toward obsessiveness. It’s too easy today to lose the forest for the trees, and much too easy to forget that the complex global ecosystem of a whole person’s health is synergistic in multiple simultaneous dimensions rather than simple or linear in any way. Whenever we hear anyone say, ‘just do (xxx), and it will fix (some global problem that nobody has yet to solve because there is simply no one right solution),’ we should approach with high skepticism and alert critical thinking.

If it aligns with my commitments and gives me a sense of progress toward my goals, then I say it counts. Tracking helps me see patterns, intersections, and correlates. It makes me more self-aware in real time, holds me accountable, and gives me a little dopamine hit with each green dot logged. Counting can be its own reward.

In the end, however, it’s the being and the doing that matter. So count it or not, I get to choose. The rewards of action and results outweigh those of counting. I think it’s good once in a while to consider more deeply the basic questions like, “What counts?” It keeps me honest.

A Joyous and Synergistic Convergence

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Sometimes I come across something that simply overtakes my senses, moving me to giddy stillness and awe. Today it was this video on Instagram, showing a lone woman demonstrating a traditional wax resist dyeing technique. It was unusually long for an Insta video, and mesmerized me for the entirety. I sent it to multiple people with the message, “Friends–the art, and the FITNESS!”

With a serene and joyful expression throughout, the woman squats to harvest two large baskets of leaves from the ground. She hoists the baskets connected with a bamboo pole onto her shoulder and transports them on foot. After transferring them to large vats to soak, she dead lifts large rocks to weigh them down in the water to make fabric dye. I realize this may not be how it’s really done–a single person doing all of this work. Still, the functional movements here strike me. Modern urban life has relegated us to sit for hours at desks deep indoors, and the most we may ever do is walk a few feet at a time, unless we formally train or travel. Putting my carry-on in the overhead bin approximates a dead lift, lat pull, and shoulder press in series, and that is nothing compared to what these artisans do in their daily lives.

We know how physical activity benefits the body–thickening brain networks required for neuromuscular coordination, sustaining clear cognition with age, and maintaining cardiovascular, muscular, and bone strength and resilience. And to do it outside–with this view every day–imagine how this feels, body, mind, and soul! Watch the whole video–can you not sense the energy of it move something deep within you? What does it inspire?

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Imagine the patience it takes to be a maker like this–any artists reading this must be rolling their eyes, duh. While the dye ferments, she draws the entire phoenix pattern and applies wax by hand with fine implements. It reminds me of the parable of two cathedral bricklayers, one who resents the back breaking work because he focuses on what is, and the other who relishes it by imagining what could and will be. Once again I marvel at the dedication, perseverance, and commitment shown in this woman’s painstaking work.

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How motivating, when you start to see your creation emerge in its intended form? These days we are spoiled by instant gratification of digital photos on our phones, carried in our pockets and available in seconds. Remember film cameras? To take 24 photos, retract the entire roll, submit it for development, and not know for weeks whether any turned out the way we wanted, with no chance to repeat the shots… that wires our brains differently. How can we train for this kind of delayed and enhanced gratification in modern life? We appreciate and value of things more the harder we work to acquire or acheive them; we take less for granted. And that makes us humble, generous, and slower to dismiss. We live deeper lives, I think, and this video reminds me.

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Consider how far most of our daily lives occur from nature. Imagine if your work required you to step into white waters, hang onto your creation lest the river sweep it away, and work in collaboration with the earth to bring forth your art for the world? When our creations depend on the natural environment, it broadens our perspective, teaches us how little we control. How humbling and also inspiring, to participate with nature in making something new?

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This video ignites something strong for me–at once cognitive, limbic, and visceral. Epic vistas, resonant music, and a lone human both lifting heavy loads and creating grand art all conspire to incite a deep sense of awe and appreciation for all that we are capable of–Earth and humans alike. It feels like a simultaneous dopamine and serotonin hit, moving me to share immediately with friends, thus also giving me that surge of oxytocin I so live for.

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The woman in the video does everything apparently alone. But we know this production required a team in community, from the planters of the field to pavers of the path, to makers of tools and appliances, to filmmakers. Let us all remember that as much as we may think and feel we operate independently from others, this is rarely the case. Nature always interacts, always intersects, overlaps, merges, and moves in both confluence and opposition. Life is a dance of it all. How literally and figuratively moving!

As we enter autumn, the season of exhalation and shedding of layers, preparing for contraction and rest, let us draw near to that which nourishes us, body, mind, and spirit. This includes art, fitness, and connection in all forms.

Wishing all in the US a happy long holiday weekend! Thank you, friends, for continuing on this journey of discovery and reflection with me all this time.

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Many thanks and much love to friend Kasey McKenney for helping me think through the turning of seasons from a Traditional Chinese Medicine perspective.

Bit Post: How to Get Me There

The loving space

OH how I hate these conditioning workouts.

And yet here I am, on the other side of another one, feeling *AWESOME* in spirit and absolutely spent in body.

I sign up only partially wanting to come. I still have the “I should” voice, which I appreciate and continue to reframe as “I know I will thank myself later. I will be glad that I did it. STRONG OLD LADY!!”

But the catalyst that gets me past the activation energy is the people. I know the coaches; I know they are here to encourage, to keep me safe, and never to judge. I may or may not know my classmates, but they are reliably friendly and welcoming, and we all follow the coaches’ lead, leaving any and all judgments at the door.

They say that how we treat ourselves underlies how we treat others, and we are generally kinder to others than to ourselves. So being in this space, where others are so kind to me, coming here regularly, teaches me to strengthen my body and soften my self-talk.

Melissa taught me the five factors that keep kids in sports; they are the same factors that keep adults in an exercise program:

1. It’s FUN
2. Our friends are doing it
3. We feel like we fit in
4. We feel competent, like we know what we’re doing
5. We feel we are making or can make progress

Generally I think if we have three or more at any given time, it may be enough to keep us going.

At Ethos I have all five. Well, today not the first one. But the other four, absolutely, no question, in spades.

There are simply not enough words for the gratitude.