Category Archives: gratitude

#AtoZChallenge: LOVE

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Teeheehee, a Little Late…

One year ago yesterday I launched this blog, Happy Blogoversary to me! 😀

It started as a platform to explore ways to reconnect patients and physicians in the increasingly divisive healthcare system.  And while that idea still stands central to the theme of the blog, I soon realized a much larger and more important principle:  The best practices apply across all relationships, not just doctor-patient relations.  The more I write, read, and explore, the bolder I have grown in my writing.

The very best outcome (so far) of starting this blog has been the LOVE I have received from others around it.  From the beginning, fellow bloggers have engaged, welcomed, encouraged, challenged, and nurtured me.  My friends and family have also held me up—following me via email, commenting on Facebook and the blog itself.  A vast community of support has stood up around me as I took this risk to share my mind publicly.  If they looked down on blogging, they kept it to themselves and encouraged me anyway.  If they thought I wouldn’t stick with it, I imagine they secretly wished me persistence, and then grace if I failed.  Because of all of these people, I have confidence to continue striving to bring forth the best in me, to share with everybody, in the hopes of creating something meaningful.

What if everybody had this chance?  What if every time someone wanted to do something bold and new, we met them with this much LOVE, cheer, praise, and affirmation?  Doing so does not mean blindly endorsing frivolous endeavors and wasted energy.  We can always offer LOVE along with tactful words of truth and pragmatism.  Even when, or especially when, projects fail terrifically, everybody can learn and grow.  LOVE from others at the outset makes us more resilient to failure.  LOVE from others at the moment of failure, as opposed to ridicule, shame, and sarcasm, makes us humble, grateful, and more brave, as opposed to defensive, angry, and humiliated.

Adequate words do not exist to express my deepest and most sincere gratitude to all who have LOVED me throughout my life, including those who have LOVED me through my blogging adventure so far.  May I pay it forward, and find ways to LOVE others whenever I have the chance.  If I can do that, then I will truly contribute to making the world a better place.

 

 

 

#AtoZChallenge: The Grace of Great Grooves

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The original title of this post was “Groove More, Gripe Less.”  I’m reminded of my daughter telling me, “Mama, I like how your mood gets better when you listen to music.” [I mentioned this in a previous post.]  I remember her words often, because she uttered them with such innocence, but they ring unequivocally true.  Music can complement, elevate, validate, amplify, evoke, or pacify my feelings; sometimes it does all of these things at once.

It started with Johnny Cash, Loretta Lynn, Conway Twitty, and Olivia Newton-John.  Their songs may have been the first I heard of English—my parents left Taiwan and landed in Mississippi in 1971.   Come to think of it, country music lyrics are much easier to understand than other genres of songs in English…  Anyway, from there my tastes migrated to include Sonny& Cher, John Denver, Michael Jackson, Def Leppard, Yanni, Sting, George Winston, Brad Paisley, Dixie Chicks, Barenaked Ladies, and now Bruno Mars and Rachel Platten.

We humans are so fortunate to have evolved the great frontal lobe, where reason and intellect reside.  But even better, this protuberance behind the forehead retains intricate connections to the more primal, hindbrain parts, where emotion and memory live.  So through music and art, we can integrate our experiences in as many unique ways as there are individuals.  Thankfully also, music conveys the universal experiences that comprise our shared humanity.  Music can move us at depths we normally take for granted, or don’t even know exist.  There are happy songs, sad songs, angry songs, romantic songs, irreverent songs, and holy songs.  There is space in the human journey for all of them and more.

I have anticipated this post all week, because I wanted to include a selection of my favorite pieces.  I looked forward to sifting through them, knowing they would bring back sacred memories.  Scrolling through Facebook during my A to Z writing breaks, I came across a post by friend and writer Wendy Toliver.  She had what I interpret as a divine music moment and, luckily for us, she shared it:

“…Today, I am grateful for music. It touches our former selves as well as our current selves, and it helps us remember what is truly important, so that our futures can be all they should be. I am so grateful for the musicians who so eloquently weave notes and words together, who pluck our heartstrings, and make us want to better ourselves. I am so honored to have musicians in my family and friends so close they might as well be family. Thank you. I thank God for you.”  How cosmic, that we both felt the keenness of music in coincidence.  That’s the magic of it, after all.

 

Feeling all this Glory of Music, I decided writing about Griping would just be a downer.  So let us get busy building our lyrical libraries—the bigger, broader, and more genres the better!  I present the list below in no particular order.  I thought of categorizing them—songs to move your body, songs to cook to, songs to write with—but I bet they speak to you very differently from how they speak to me, so I invite you to hear them in your own context.  And please share your own favorites, too—what music moves you?

 

Get Your Groove On!

 

Days Like This, Van Morrison

Stand By You, Rachel Platten

Beer For My Horses, Toby Keith and Willie Nelson

Mom and the Radio, Bill Harley

Because We Can, Bon  Jovi

The Butterfly Lovers Violin Concerto, Gang Chen and Zhanhao He

Footloose, Kenny Loggins

Goodbye Montana, George Winston

New World Symphony, Antonin Dvorak

I Can See Clearly Now, Johnny Nash

Runaway Baby, Bruno Mars

Who I Was Born To Be, Susan Boyle

Ode To Joy, Ludwid von Beethoeven

Rocky Mountain High, John Denver

Roar, Katy Perry

Ticks, Brad Paisley

No Place Like You, Maddie & Tae

Hallelujah Chorus, George Frideric Handel

Ming Tien Hue Gen Hao (Tomorrow will be even better)—The Chinese version of Band Aid and USA for Africa… and what the heck, let’s include those original recordings:

Do They Know It’s Christmas

We Are The World

 

PS I have shared the best recordings I could find of the songs—they’re all on YouTube.  Please excuse any link glitches!

 

 

 

 

 

 

#AtoZChallenge: More Fun, Less Frazzle

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“Rule #6: Don’t take yourself so Goddamn seriously.” From The Art of Possibility, by Rosamund Stone Zander and Benjamin Zander.

This can be a hard lesson for physicians. We do such serious work, after all. There is always another patient to see, another result to review, another call to answer—now! But I have to pee, when can I pee?

In my first year of practice, I remember a particularly hard day. I was running late (I’m still always running late) and the patients that day were all complicated. No simple UTIs or colds to give me some air. I huffed and grunted my way through the visits, occasionally buzzing by Rose, my medical assistant, to answer messages in between. My bladder felt like it might actually explode, but I could not stop to go to the bathroom—there was no time! I was so afraid to fall even more behind, to fail in some way. Eventually, Rose posted a sign above my workstation: “TAKE A DEEP BREATH.” It was an instant reality check:  I couldn’t go on like this, I’d burn out before my career even started! Immediately I realized how unnecessary, and downright silly, was all the rushing and grimacing—and I laughed out loud. Since then I have never again reached that depth of anxiety and sullenness in a workday. I am forever grateful to Rose for her sign, her loving reminder to slow down and take perspective. God bless her.

If we’re not careful, we physicians could all easily drown in the drama and strain, over and again, every day. And is that really what our patients need from us—to be Frazzled balls of tension and urgency, bouncing haplessly from one task or person to another, barely holding it together (and in)? Is that what we want for our colleagues and staff, to have to put up with our irritable and pressing demands?

It doesn’t have to be that way. In my third year of medical school, on my inpatient internal medicine rotation, Chip Dye was my senior resident. The service was busy; we always had a full census of sick patients. But I never felt harried or anxious because Chip set the tone for the team. Always smiling, always willing to answer any question, and finding any opportunity to laugh, he made it safe to learn. He exuded confidence without arrogance, calm without sloth. After rounds he led the team to attend morning report (daily educational conference and community gathering).  He always made sure we ate.  And there was always time to pee.

It’s not that he underestimated or ignored the work that awaited us. He just knew that we would accomplish it all better in a lighter, happier state of mind. When it came time to buckle down and divide tasks, Chip prioritized them with realistic expectations and we all got to work. No muss, no fuss, no stress. It would all get done because we laid out our plans in advance.  We self-respectfully reserved time and space for meeting basic bodily and communal needs. Thanks to Chip for leading by example.

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From Facebook, I can’t remember where or when!

We can always have some Fun at work, no matter how hard the day gets. Whether it’s telling a silly joke, watching a ridiculous viral baby video, or posting a fun meme on the workroom bulletin board, lightening the mood helps everybody get through a little easier. Laughing relaxes us. Stephen Colbert is quoted as saying, “Do you know what I like about comedy? You can’t laugh and be afraid at the same time—of anything. If you’re laughing, I defy you to be afraid.” And if we can overcome our fears of not getting it all done, of not being enough, we will all be better off—physicians and patients alike.

potheads

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