Tag Archives: LOH

Books of 2020

Posted on by
1

Hello Friends!  HOLY cow, what a year…  What have we learned?  What do we hold in front as we enter 2021?  What do leave behind without hesitation?  And of course, what did you read this year?  I consumed fewer books than I had intended.  But I did manage to read or hear over 1.8 million words, the equivalent of over 25 books on Pocket, according to the email I got from the app.  So that’s something. 

Please find below the list of books I consumed (or attempted, or continue to engage with) this year.  Please make recommendations, if you have any, in the comments!  Read and write on, friends!

  1. Think Like a Rocket Scientist by Ozan Varol@   (@One of my favorites)  Usually I read books like this over and over.  But the ideas from TLARS stay fresh and live on Ozan’s private forum, the Inner Circle.  I’ve made some awesome new friends and had some of the most stimulating conversations of the year on this page.  What ties us together, aside from our Ozan fandom, is our shared resonance with the idea of challenging the status quo, thinking in possibility.
  2. Speak by Sally Lou Oaks Loveman*  (*Abandoned)  Just not interesting enough to keep my attention.
  3. The Weekend Book Proposal by Ryan G. Van Cleave#  (#In progress)  I’ll come back to this one in 2021.  Practical and humorous, recommended by friend, author, and fellow blogger Donna Cameron. 
  4. Talking to Strangers by Malcolm Gladwell    Another winner by another master challenger of status quo thinking.  Though not outright political in nature, the ideas explored in this book took on important socio-political relevance in 2020.  The fundamental tenets would serve us well to remember as we enter the New Year:  Our assumptions often operate without our conscious awareness, sometimes with destructive consequences.  It behooves us to talk to people and know them as individuals, rather than making assumptions based on group identity.
  5. Collaborating with the Enemy by Adam Kahane    A bit dense, and slow at times.  But another excellent reminder of the importance of cultivating relationships across difference, practicing empathy and nonjudgment, and exercising power always with love.
  6. Maybe You Should Talk to Someone by Lori Gottleib    I memoir by a therapist.  Touching, engaging, and reminiscent of my own personal experience as a clinician.  Worth a listen.
  7. American Dirt by Jeanine Cummins*    Well written and engaging, some controversy around race, the publishing industry, and ‘trauma porn.’  I abandoned when I could no longer ignore the call of my ever-growing pile of non-fiction books…
  8. Four Days to Change by Michael Welp@     A must-read for anyone working on self-awareness, and who wants to advance equity and inclusion by leading others in the practice.  Written with compassion and empathy, by a white man, for white men.   
  9. Leadership on the Line by Ronald Heifetz and Marty Linsky@    Another gem.  Concise, practical, and an excellent integration of abstract relational concepts with concrete leadership practices that help me move from weeds to vision and back again with more agility, grace, and confidence.
  10. Notorious RBG by Irin Carmon and Shana Knizhnik    A re-listen, with the family this time, on our summer road trip.  Short, funny, inspiring.  Highly recommend.
  11. Personal Leadership by Barbara Schaetti, Sheila Ramsey, and Gordon Watanabe#,@   Another deceptively simple and also richly deep and transformative book and program.  Thank you, friend Sharon Kristjanson, for your coaching and your class, where we get to play with this and other important concepts for Engaging with Difference.  I look forward to continued evolution in my personal leadership style and application.
  12. How to Be an Antiracist by Ibram X. Kendi#    Dense, a bit pedantic, also personal and important.  Will continue to work my way through, considering the larger picture of racism and how I both contribute and can help effect change.
  13. Mating In Captivity by Esther Perel@   Last year I heard Sex at Dawn; this was my sex book for 2020.  Irreverent, lighthearted, and also based on decades of clinical expertise; also attractive to nonconventional thinkers and experiencers.  Her Facebook group is also a fantastic place to learn about all the things you never knew people did in their sex lives.  Highly recommend both.
  14. Me and White Supremacy by Layla F. Saad   Much more practical and easier to consume than Kendi’s book.  Written as a workbook, each chapter grows a practice of awareness and action, grounded in humility and non-judgment. 
  15. But I Don’t See You as Asian by Bruce Reyes-Chow    Self-published and one of the only non-fiction books I could find written on racism from the Asian-American perspective.  Its purpose, much like Saad’s, is to enlighten white people on the impact of their cultural dominance, the way we might with our closest friends.  Worth the inexpensive print  read.
  16. Caste by Isabel Wilkerson@    No doubt you’ve read and heard about this book everywhere.  It’s every bit as amazing and important as everybody says.  Just read it.
  17. Caffeine by Michael Pollan    A fun and well-researched, short break from the heavy reads of summer.  Hasn’t change my habits…. Yet.
  18. Dear Girls by Ali Wong*   Funny, often heartfelt, and ultimately not engaging enough for this reader.
  19. What Unites Us by Dan Rather@   Read by Rather himself, an engaging and eloquent memoir that shines the warm light of hope and perseverance on the despair of today.  “Steady,” he says.  Highly recommend.
  20. The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho    Read by Jeremy Irons on Audible, such a treat!  An allegory, though I’m not sure I quite understand the lesson.  I’ll come back to this one, for sure.
  21. The Pleasure of Finding Things Out:  The Best Short Works of Richard Feynman ed. Jeffrey Robbins#    I bet Dr. Feynman enjoyed being thought of as kooky.  I like to read and hear kooky folks’ own words, but they require focus, especially when they’re talking about quantum physics.  So I’m getting through this one slowly, and enjoying it.
  22. The Courage to Raise Good Men by Olga Silverstein, Beth Rashbaum    Wish I had read this when Son was much younger.  Lots of gender stereotype stuff that I instinctively push(ed) against already, but with practical examples and recommendations that I could have used sooner.
  23. Fauci by Michael Specter (Audible exclusive)    I learned so much in this short book about Dr. Fauci’s early evolution as a clinical researcher and community liaison during the AIDS epidemic.  He really walks the talk of engaging with difference, professionally and personally.  We are so lucky to still have his leadership, and I admire him so much.  Learn about this humble and steady role model.
  24. Divided We Fall by David French    Follow this conservative Christian civil rights attorney’s newsletters and blog at The French Press.  I find he practices that dynamic balance of standing firm in his own convictions and core values, while maintaining an open and discerning mind for the value and validity of opposing views.  I thought his characterizations of ‘the left’ were often generalized and not totally fair, and his outlook is much more pessimistic than mine.  But I always appreciate his perspective, as it challenges me to query my own, keeping me fair and honest.
  25. Managing Polarities by Barry Johnson#    A concept I first learned halfway through LOH, which didn’t resonate deeply right away.  But thank God for the lesson, as it stands front and center as one of the most important concepts of 2020, right there with paradox and flexibility.    Polarities are necessary; they are not problems to be solved; they are relational phenomena that require keen awareness and management for ultimate success.
  26. Burnout:  The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle by Emily Nagoski and Amelia Nagoski#    Humorous, well-researched, eloquent, moving, and personal.  It breaks down the physiologic, psychologic, and sociologic origins and consequences of stress and burnout, and presents an evidence-based process for coping with anything life throws with a lot more confidence, and less suffering. 
  27. Simple Habits for Complex Times by Jennifer Garvey Berger and Keith Johnston#    Unlike Changing on the Job, this book is written in allegory form, which I sometimes find tedious and distracting.  I should probably read rather than listen.  Will pick it up again and finish soon.
  28. Freakonomics by Steven Levitt and Stephen Dubner    Engagingly conceived and written, again joyfully stimulating to the contrarian in me.  Written 13 years ago, I wonder how it would be received today, given its sweeping generalizations and conclusions.  The authors proclaim themselves that the book has no real unifying theme (other than, perhaps, reminding us to regularly challenge conventional wisdom), and its ideas are not necessarily applicable in any concrete or personal way.  Reminds me of Gladwell—just makes me think.  I really want to ask the authors, “What are the most interesting and worthy rebuttals to your claims and conclusions so far?”
  29. A Promised Land by Barack Obama    I started this book in earnest today.  I’m on chapter 4, 3 hours in, 26 to go.  Read by President Obama himself, I feel soothed as soon as I tap ‘play’.  He uplifts me from my pessimism and burnout already.  My hope in the possibility and aspirations of our country swells again, despite the craziness I see all around me right now—the absolute, abject, unfathomable and enraging craziness. 

*sigh*  So many books, so many so many!  Here’s to the elegance and connecting power of words, in all forms.  May they hold us together and up, may we find in them comfort and solace, and may we always use our own for good.

Friendsourcing Motivation

Posted on by
2

Sunrise AD

Sunrise, Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch, Loveland, Colorado. Photo courtesy of Dr. Anne Dixon

Greetings, friends!  How goes it, halfway through January of the New Year?  How are you doing with those resolutions?  I always feel conflicted about announcing such commitments, preferring to call them ‘intentions’ (see here, here, here, and here!).  I’ve read too many articles dismissing resolutions as mindless, unhelpful, and ultimately a waste of energy.  And yet, the start of a new year naturally prompts reflection and renewed motivation for self-improvement, which are good things.

Once again, taking a more nuanced view helps here.  It’s not that resolutions are bad.  It’s that we need to be thoughtful and realistic about them, as the linked article above suggests.  Whatever we call them, commitments to behavior change can lead us to transformation.  But it’s anything but simple or easy!

My post on experimental questions got a boost in views this past week.  I wonder what prompted that?  I wish I knew who was reading it and why, what they think, and what it means to them?  Since that post was published, I have continued to ask my 4 newest questions, of both patients and myself.  The recent traffic on that post parallels the evolution in my own reflections and answers:

In the coming year, what do you see as the biggest threat to your health?

My hedonist impulses, no question:  Ice cream and office sweets, mostly, but also online washi tape sales and paper, clothing, and shoe stores.

What is the biggest asset?

My friends, also no question, my pit crew.  They encourage me, keep me honest, and lend perspective.  They teach me and inspire me.  They hold me up.

One year from now, what do you want to look back and be able to say about what’s important to you?

In January 2021, I want to look back and say that I got fit again, that I regained the exercise discipline I lost in 2019.  I got control of my eating, decreased my sugar intake by at least half.  I put my phone down and was more present with my kids.  I was more intentional and executed better on how I spend my time and energy overall.  I exercised agency over my life better than ever before.

What support (external to yourself) do you already have and/or may still need to recruit, in order to make that vision a reality?

On November 10 when I posted these questions, I honestly had not answered this one yet.  It was harder than I had anticipated.  Since then, as I continue to ask patients, I see that I’m not the only one stymied.  My first response resembled my patients’, something akin to, “Well, I just have to do it.”  We type-A, independent peeps often rely first and foremost on ourselves.  We don’t ask for help.  And even though I have written and spoken ad nauseum about the importance of support, I found it difficult to identify my own need for it.  This is why I have added the ‘external to yourself’ clarification to the question.  Support comes from somewhere or someone else.  And we all do better when we have it.

***

Friendsourcing Motivation

The whole time, the answer was right there in front of me.  The biggest asset to my health is my friends.  We know that social support (sometimes in the form of peer pressure) can be the key to success in behavior change.  Why else would people attend Weight Watchers meetings, or to go AA?  I need a workout buddy and a healthy eating buddy, I realized—I can tap my assets!  Eureka!

Easier said than done, however.  Who should I ask?  What should it look like?  Over a month or so, I worked out my specifications:

  • I need support from friends, not strangers (thus fitness classes will probably not be my jam)
  • I don’t want to be constrained by schedules with my buddies—flexibility is key
  • I need a two-way arrangement—someone who also has a goal that I can support them in
  • The arrangement must be concrete and accountable, but not feel oppressive

Tadaaaaah—Habit Share*!

On our sunrise walks in Loveland last weekend, two friends from LOH and I agreed to be one another’s buddies.  It was perfect—we all wanted the same things; we just needed an easy way to connect.  One of us, the youngest, most tech-savvy one, found the Habit Share app.  It’s free and perfect.  We each define our own goals, and simply share them with each other online.  We receive notifications when our friends check in, and we send messages of encouragement and solidarity.  It’s perfect!  I have already shared the app with patients and other friends, and am now connected to two more friends.  Our habits range from exercise to reading, to flossing.

Holy COW, what a difference!  Just knowing that I’m tracking my goals, and that my friends are seeing and supporting me, it’s been exponentially easier to motivate and execute these seven days than the entire past year.  It’s easy, aesthetically pleasing, costs no money, and connects me with people I love.  It is–wait for it–PERFECT!

I know, I know, it’s only been a week.  Who knows what all of our app screens will look like in another week, a month, or three months from now?  Will we all still be connected and holding each other up in a year?  Who can say?  But what’s the utility of thinking that far ahead?  Yesterday I set the new goal of getting up early once a week to write.  Today I can check it off.  I still have a chance to say no to ice cream, work out, turn off my phone apps by 10pm, and floss!  My friends will know when I do it, and they won’t judge me if I don’t.  It’s all good, and we can all take it one day at a time.

So, what support (external to yourself) do you have, or may still need to recruit, to make your best-self vision a reality?

*I have no financial or other interests in this business.  In fact, I want to contact them to give them feedback about how to make it better, but I cannot find a ‘contact’ page on their website…

All Good Things Must End

Posted on by
2

moon path LOH

Setting moon, Sylvan Dale Guest Ranch, Loveland, Colorado.  Photo courtesy of Dr. Karen Cornell

Friends, Leading Organizations to Health has graduated Cohort 11, the Class of 2020.

Ten months ago I started at my Hogwarts, the leadership training program that has definitely made me a better leader.  But more importantly, it made me nine amazing new friends and a much better person.  Today, on the last day of the last retreat, it all came together in the most beautiful way, and I am beyond grateful.

These ten months were the best elective educational experience of my life—they really gave college and med school a run for their money.  We immersed in a curriculum dense with abstract concepts of interpersonal communication and organizational change management.  We then translated the theories into tangible skills in an experiential learning lab, applied to specific challenges brought by my 7 cohort mates and me.  Over four in-person retreats and monthly Zoom calls, we shared, supported, and coached one another in the tenets of relationship-centered leadership.

We bonded in a similar way to residents on call:  Gathered for training, bringing different backgrounds and perspectives, participating in a common curriculum but each with a unique learning path, eventually to disperse and practice in different settings across the country.  We eight now share a connection of stories and struggle that nobody else can know.  We are a tribe.

Thus, I grieved the goodbyes long before we arrived in Loveland this last time.  But I also trusted our master facilitators to help me manage this, by both their loving and authentic presence and the very structure of the program, which is founded on contemplation and self-awareness.  I also felt an abiding faith in the friendships we all grew this past year.  As with my best friends from college and medical school, I knew we would maintain contact and connection, just in a different way.  We can’t stay in the nest forever—now is the time to fly.

In thoughtfully constructed journaling exercises and discussion groups, we reflected, consolidated, and synthesized ten months of learning.  We also examined our personal and professional evolution over this time, growth and movement in fluidity and complexity.  We explored aspirations and imagined the future state of this work in our natural habitats.  Finally, we sat in a closing circle.   Having each shared our own reflections, the group offered each friend observations, affirmations, and well wishes in what I can only describe as the most loving communion.  Each person’s strengths were articulated and amplified.  We acknowledged one another’s challenges.  We celebrated each other’s engagement, perseverance, contributions and triumphs.  Finally, sustained mutual support was extended around the circle, wholeheartedly and without qualification.

In my opinion, we formed the kind of community that we all want to lead.  Tony and Diane led us all by example, deliberately, artfully, and mindfully.  They live the principles they teach; they lovingly and patiently showed us the way.  In the end we discovered our own capacity to each write our own next chapter(s).  By making us feel seen, heard, understood, accepted and loved these ten months, our teachers inspired us to do the same for others.  And that is the strongest foundation for building our houses of positive change agency.

Now we go forth.  We’ got this.