Smiles to Start 2025

Happy New Year, friends! The season’s spirit still saturates me, and I will ride it as long as it lasts! Wishing that residual lightness and joy on you all, too!

Today was day 334 of Morning Pages, so I’m on track to hit 337/365 or so by the one year mark of this new habit–not bad! I don’t recall missing any blog posts in 2024–did I? So yay, the writing is consistent! This is post #670. With an average of 700 words each, that’s 469,000 words written in a little less than ten years. I can confidently say I have established a solid body of work. Book will happen eventually, and I’m okay with whatever cosmic timing is at play here.

This season, however, all I want to do every day is write jar smiles. Inspiration can come anywhere, from music to audiobooks to movies, to conversations. Messages occur to me spontaneously while driving or looking out the window, and even falling asleep at night. I’m having so much fun capturing them on pretty origami paper. I’m using all my fun pens, and folding them is positively meditative.

I don’t generally set explicit goals or concrete intentions ‘for the year’, but I feel a slight leaning that way at the moment. Letting it marinate rather than write about it tonight–maybe next week. But these tiny love notes! They make me so happy! So tonight I thought I’d share the latest batch here, in case they lift you also.

Maybe you’ll bookmark this post somewhere and come back to it when you want a little encouragement. Maybe you’ll point someone you care about this way, so they can get a little love, too. Regardless, I hope that by sharing these notes here, many more people may benefit from the expressions than just me and the people who read them on paper. Not sure how long I’ll end up writing them, but given the similarly joyful meaning and reward to writing this blog and Morning Pages so far, I have a feeling the jars I have started around the country and soon around the world may stay filled a while yet.

Peace, friends. Onward in solidarity and love:

Hello Love! Had a great HIIT workout at the gym, then connected with friends. Wishing you this awesome of a start to your day often!

When you need nourishment – body, mind, and spirit – may the food and fuel you need present to you promptly.

Wishing you today the kind of energy that causes you to hip sway, stomp, and wave your arms high in raucous joy!

Strength. You have it in spades in many domains! It’s a quiet force that we feel and respond to–you have impact.

Hello Darling! What’s got your mind whirring and your spirit humming? Wishing you the movement that fulfills you today!

Sometimes we just need to pursue pleasure. If today is one of those times, may your pursuit end positively gloriously.

May we always respect the creative impulses that arise from our deep hearts’ yearning to be known. Peace, dear one.

On the long arc of this lifetime, may we encounter often other souls who see the value and importance of connection and utter love.

Thinking of agency a lot these days – where we have it, how we exercise it, and when we don’t recognize it – may you always know yours!

Our best friends are as good as family if not better – wishing you these people in your life every day to lift you and hold you up!

When you need comfort, may the hard and prickly parts of the world fall away and only softness take their place.

What are your intentions today? Wishing the universe to help align them with your greatest positive impact!

When you need stability, may the ground beneath your feet feel rock solid and your heart beat in steady strength.

Quality time with the people who matter most: Wishing you loads and loads to keep your heart full and your spirit high.

May your needs be anticipated and met with love and mindful effectiveness by all who love you every day!

May you always know and never forget how incredibly special you are and how important you are in other people’s lives!

When you need change, may the winds of new beginnings and novel experience knock joyfully at your door.

May you know yourself so deeply and with such confidence that no person may assail your integrity even a little.

The only way out is through; the best way through is together. Right here with you, dear one.

Chengerisms and NaBloPoMo 2024

“Hey friend, favor?
“When you think of me, what things do you hear me say all the time that signify to you who I am and what I’m about? 🤔
“…Collecting ‘Chengerisms’”

The compulsion overtook me Thursday evening, when I should have been finishing clinic notes and packing for LA. I texted a slew of people in a flurry with the question above, intending to assemble their answers into backbone for National Blog Posting Month in November. For those who don’t know, NaBloPoMo challenges bloggers to publish 30 posts in 30 days, all written in real time. It coincides with NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, a sprint to write a 50K word manuscript in the same time.

This will be my tenth consecutive NaBloPoMo challenge–BRING IT, I say!

My “Chengerisms” query, I see now, was actually me gathering validation and support for showing up all me, all in, BOOBS OUT at the Writers Rising retreat this weekend. My subconscious intuition knows what I need; I sense, trust, and follow better with age. Replies rolled in with speed, earnestness, and so much love it positively bowled me over. Highly recommend!

The strongest messages I perceived throughout the conference reinforced all of my highest writing and living values:
Let loose your curiosity
Take risks
Tell the truth
Honor your Central Self
Own Your Shit
You are enough
Assemble your pit crew
Connect, connect, connect!

How tightly these correlated with the Chengerisms my friends mirrored to me:
What is that about?
How fascinating!
Tell me more…
Hey friend
How did that feel?
Love you love you
Yaaaay!
One breath
Walk the talk
BOOBS OUT (apparently catching on in my small circles–yaaaayy!)
Tribe
Sooo human.

This spontaneous, subconscious-driven exercise shows me the profound importance of good, loving feedback and the absolute value of meaningful relationship. My response to almost every reply was a sincere and heartfelt, “I feel seen!”

While I continually noodle on content and structure of Book (I’m getting closer, really!), I feel a limbic and visceral certainty about how I want readers to feel throughout and especially at the end–seen, validated, inspired, empowered, and convicted. This NaBloPoMo, I aim to color in and sharpen that vision, saturate my thinking and writing brain with it.

At the end of an executive physical, I want my patient to feel thoroughly understood. I show that I know them, even if I only see them once a year, by reflecting their stories back to them, interpolating and extrapolating what’s not said, checking in, and providing what I know patients need from their doctors: personal connection in service of self-efficacy for health. So this year for NaBloPoMo, I commit to the theme:

What I Wish For You

Thirty things I want patients, readers, or anyone, really, to experience after encountering me in person or in print. Chengerisms in action. I will resist wallowing in guilt and shame when I notice how often I fall short of these aspirations. When I see perfectionist self-loathing approach I will divert it to the nearest off-ramp. All part of the process.

This could be both fun and enlightening! Let’s see what happens, eh? Ready, set, let’s go.


I Just Want to Talk to People and Write About It

WAIT—I already do this! 

All day, every day at work I talk to people.  I query their perceptions about their health, their habits, relationships, and leadership.  I ask about their families, challenges, and struggles.  We get as personal as they are willing, and it is always a privilege and honor to be allowed into people’s lives like I am.  Between the pre-call, the morning interview, and the debrief, I spend about two hours with each patient during their annual exam, reviewing the year past and anticipating the year ahead.  The best days end with me feeling joyously spent, having attuned and attended to each patient intently while mining all my cumulative expertise, both personal and professional, to compile the most collaborative, relevant, and holistic action plan I can muster.

I have saved face sheets from these annual exams for the past year, all the encounters that felt meaningful to me.  Each paper bears my notes from the interview, essentially a list of ideas/concepts, resources, and recommendations to include on the action plan.  It’s a set of organic notes for myself, a record of how I know each person, what stands out about their life today, the most salient aspects of health and relationships this year.

Internal Medicine is a ‘cognitive’ field—we don’t do procedures.  “I think, therefore I.M.” my American College of Physicians mug says.  I literally talk to people for a living.  And then I write about it.  Each clinic note reports my patient’s state of being, in the context of their life at the time.  Every year I add on to the cumulative ‘social history’—work, eating and exercise patterns, sleep, stress, and relationships.  Reading through that section of the note, I can see how many years I have known the patient, and how each of these aspects of their health has evolved over time.  They rise in the ranks of work, change jobs.  Weight fluctuates.  Kids grow up, graduate, leave home and go to college, get married.  Grandchildren accumulate.  My annual exam note is the record of a person’s life as I hear it.

Each encounter note’s ‘Assessment and Plan’ is essentially a problem list with my description of each active medical issue, interpretation of potential causes and implications, and plan of care.  It serves to guide anyone who cares for the patient in the future (myself included) and to inform patients themselves, so they may know the rationale behind my recommendations.

This past week, I started a new journal to document each encounter for my own benefit—to recall and reflect on each interaction and log my own perceptions (intellectual, relational, visceral, and otherwise) and insights.  Each entry ends with the heading “FEELING”—my attempt to articulate how the encounter affected me personally, what meaning I derived from it.  I LOVE this new practice.

Similarly, I have often journaled feverishly after conversations with my best friends—the deep, philosophical, and bonding ones wherein I grab my journal in real time to jot ideas, insights, and epiphanies.  My days off fill up with calls and coffee dates well in advance, and I now set aside time after each of these encounters to make similar recordings to those after my patients’ annual exams.  Between friends who have known me decades (‘stem cell friends’, as I have named them this week) to lovely new ones who may be decades younger or made in specific contexts (‘tissue friends’), the connections made of late flourish as if doused in Miracle Gro concentrate.  And I’m writing it all down!

This blog will be ten years old in April.  This is the 630th post.  It all started because I wanted to write a book on physician-patient relationship and how to save it.  And yet the focus, content, and organization of Book has eluded me all this time.  But it’s okay; I’m having so much fun with the process, feeling my way through, attending to and reveling in each twist and turn of the journey.  I’m getting closer.  I have no deadline or expectation, no goal other than fostering and honoring what emerges from the most organic and authentic places within me, for no other reason than to connect with people for whom it will be meaningful.

I talk to people.  I listen.  I connect.  I write about it for all our benefit, so our bonds may hold strong long after each encounter, cumulatively, in the most intersecting and inclusive ways.  I do it for a living—not just for an income, but for my very livelihood—I traffic in the spoken and written word to make the highest, deepest connections and meaning in life.  Wow, what a duh-HA! revelation.  And how lucky that my life calling and profession should align so perfectly? 
Book will come eventually, I am confident.  I can feel it. 
Onward.