I participate in a semi-monthly writing group, born of a week long workshop organized by Erin Mallon in January. We meet online on the first and third Fridays of the month. One of us hosts the call and provides the prompt, we free write for ten minutes, and share. Tonight’s prompt was visual, a choice of five images. I chose the photo below, which stimulated a fun stream of consciousness. What does it bring up for you?
What has inspired you recently? When were you last moved to dance in public? When did a stranger last see you walk down the street with a broad smile on your face? What do you reach for when you need inspiration? What do you most often wish inspiration for?
This picture evokes joy and freedom for me–do I crave inspiration for these things? Limbs splayed, balancing on one foot, hair and scarf flying… There is movement here that I think (feel) inspires a desire for more motion–for going somewhere–or at least to get off the butt… That a still painting inspires this kinetic desire is a paradox that I love–do paradoxes often inspire me? They certainly catch my attention; they make me curious, make me think. Am I inspired by thinking? Or does inspiration come before thought?
It’s words for me–inspiration manifests verbally first, for sure, no question. Not only in writing; almost always in conversation! When I get inspired I write; if it’s high inspriation, I write to someone. And then it’s a positive feedback loop–the more I write the more inspired I get–it’s happening now!
So, Dear Reader: What inspires you? What evokes movement and that upward spiral of energy and excitation? How does it feel in your body, and how do others experience you in this state?
What does inspiration do for you? How does it feed you? Or does it?
What downsides of inspiration do you experience?
What questions do you have about inspiration? Whom would you ask and how would that conversation go?
Taking some time off in the coming week, folks. Wishing all in the northern hemisphere a joyous start to the summer season, and may we all show up to one another in ways that help us connect more deeply and lovingly!
I share below a message to my friend who requested my stories of when I have seen them at their best, as part of a leadership program they have begun. I hope my response serves their puproses and goals. I share here because reflections like this, between friends, nourish our souls mutually. The experience makes me consider others for whom I might do this exercise, so that I may deepen my own appreciation for them, and thus present more openly, humbly, and lovingly to them. There are definitely relationships in my life that could benefit from this boost of connection.
My question for you, Dear Readers: Whom would you ask to tell their stories of you at your best, and how would those stories affect you, them, and your relationships? I have only now asked myself this question, and I look forward to what emerges hereafter. Maybe I’ll even write about it sometime. 🙂
Onward:
—–
My Dear Friend,
Thank you for your patience for this feedback. I apologize for the delay—I wanted it to be worthy of your review! 😜
On 21 May I wrote my thoughts stream-of-consciousness style, wanted to get the notes down before writing them out for you formally. I’ve done this more lately with writing to others—like a first draft. Then I find that after I’ve gotten it out, I’m less motivated to go back and edit/polish. Fascinating! I bet this is a part of my process that will require management if I’m actually going to write a whole book—so THANK YOU for helping me discover it! 😜 But this message is supposed to be about YOU… 😉
Please find below photos of the journaling. They are not stories, exactly, but they are honest reflections of the time I have spent with you since we met back in 2017. I hope the descriptions in ink serve the purpose and goals of the exercise—telling you stories of when I have experienced you at your best?
What a GIFT our relationship is to me, because my only experience of you, I realize now, is you at your best– it’s you in friendship. It’s you in Agape loving connection, for no other purpose than that, for its own sake… Well, for the sake of living a life of meaning, in accordance with your core values and integrity… My story of us, of our friendship, is that we are here to uphold each other. We serve each other as pillars of validation, exploration, curiosity, learning, and growth. It doesn’t matter what we’re dealing with in our lives, what’s happening in our other relationships—our friendship is both separate from and closely tied to all of it—does that make sense?
I write below about your caring, your patience, your trust. I see now that I left out your practice of judgment. I value withholding judgment, especially the kind that makes us closed to new information and experience in our relationships. I also recognize the value of judgment in a different sense—the reconciliation and navigation of our observations and perceptions with and against our values and goals. You don’t judge people and their actions/behaviors as good or bad. You don’t label people and categorize them, write them off—like EVER! Rather, you continuously observe, assess, and attune. You actively seek both the consonance and dissonance that lead to insight and right action! ‘Discernment’ keeps coming up for me now, as I attempt to summarize my ‘story’ of you at your best.
sigh
So lucky, so thankful. Exercises like this, if they benefit you, the receiver at all, definitely also benefit us, the ‘givers.’ Reflection on relationship nourishes my soul—OMG I just live for it!
It’s raining outside today, and I feel positively lit—from inside and out, the fire of connection burning slow and bright, tended and stoked consistently with love from all around. Going now to meet (Friend), another bright light like you.
Wishing you everything good, everything you need to keep your own fires lit and burning bright, my dear friend!! Can’t wait to see you again and continue the conversation!
Blessings and peace, and love to you and all of yours–
I vaguely recall marking the 200th post here; that was a big deal, as I had only set out to maintain this blog for one year. HTC turns nine years old this month! Thank you for indulging me in this reflection. I love most that I have documented a slow and steady personal and professional evolution here. My core values and writing mission remain unchanged, and my attitudes, approaches, and conclusions are both more convicted and somehow also softer now. Maybe it’s that I notice and embrace polarities more, and navigate them more willingly and skillfully? I definitely embrace paradox more openly and joyfully. Both of these practices make me happier, more peaceful, and a better communicator, I’m convinced. I know some readers have followed since the beginning–what have you noticed these nine years?
Other milestones I celebrate at this writing: 50 years of life 25 years an MD 15 years at Northwestern Medicine 15 years of active, intentional inner work 10 years of intentional physical fitness training 1 year training at Ethos 18 months of romance audio immersion and community engagement 20 years of parenting, one kid flown
Here’s another marker, much darker: April 20, 2024 marks the 25th year since the mass shooting at Columbine High School. My friend’s daughter, who was 18 when she died there, would be 43 now. I have no words for this loss.
What is the point of marking any of these things? Fundamentally it is a reflection, an assessment, a way to make meaning of time, life, relationships–anything that matters to us. Looking back, seeing how far we have come, and then looking foward at how far we have yet to go–it lends perspective. I get to acknowledge some significance of my individual presence, activity, and impact, while also recognizing the utter smallness of it at the same time. And at this age, it all feels both peaceful and activating–more paradox!
Learned. I’ll think more on it, but learning may be the most rewarding thing we can do in life. And it only gets better with age, if we are paying attention, because any new acquisition–of information, knowledge, awareness, insight–is added to a synergistically cumulative body of experience that both expands and deepens exponentially over a lifetime. Marking milestones shows me how I have grown, what I have learned, and how vast the potential of human learning really is.
Liberated. The more I know, the more I know I don’t know. Rather than sparking fear or insecurity, rather than making me feel small and ineffective, this realization frees me. I can accept that everything I know is incomplete, that we’re all here doing the best we can with what we have in real time. I am liberated from thinking I can or should have all the answers–I can walk with anybody on any path, and we can figure it out as we go. My own knowledge, insights, and wisdom, however incomplete, are hard won; at this age I feel solid confidence in the skill set I have honed to acquire them. I also know that the honing will continue lifelong. Milestones mark the evidence of effort. It’s a joyous humility of sorts, anticipating recurrent lessons that may be painful, but maybe a little less so every time, and it will all ultimately make me better. Bring it.
Empowered. Happy to keep learning. Freed to acquire, apply, and share all learning in creative and collaborative ways to make my best contribution. Looking back on these milestones gives me confidence that I indeed have something to offer. The best thing I can do is use my own personal power to elevate others, to help them find and strengthen their own power. Together we can keep learning, keep growing, keep reaching, doing, making, being our best for one another.
Lots of people are having a hard time right now, so much pain and suffering all around us. Markers of joy and pain are all meaningful, all serve a purpose. Everything gained comes at a cost. This blog helps me process it all, gives me a place to reflect, record, and remember later. Nine years blogging and going strong, maybe even getting stronger. And yes, Book. *sigh* Momentum for that project ebbs and flows; the ultimate outcome is still unclear, and I’m okay with it. I have never loved writing more than I do now, so hopefully that portends something concrete for my future. It’s been nine years since the idea of publishing a book occurred to me, nine months since the writing workshop where I renewed my commitment. Let’s see when the next Book milestone occurs, eh? Exciting.
Let us mark and celebrate meaningful things more regularly and reverently, shall we? Not just milestones but inch pebbles and the like. Small wins, any progress, any connection, any epiphany, in any domain. It all matters if we care, if it’s valuable to us. And all the better if we can turn that reverent, celebratory energy into mutual uplift and rocket fuel for humanity’s journey toward ever stronger and more loving relationships.
What can we find this week to mark the next step on this path toward healing connection?
Healing Through Connection 