I share below a message to my friend who requested my stories of when I have seen them at their best, as part of a leadership program they have begun. I hope my response serves their puproses and goals. I share here because reflections like this, between friends, nourish our souls mutually. The experience makes me consider others for whom I might do this exercise, so that I may deepen my own appreciation for them, and thus present more openly, humbly, and lovingly to them. There are definitely relationships in my life that could benefit from this boost of connection.
My question for you, Dear Readers:
Whom would you ask to tell their stories of you at your best, and how would those stories affect you, them, and your relationships?
I have only now asked myself this question, and I look forward to what emerges hereafter. Maybe I’ll even write about it sometime. 🙂
Onward:
—–
My Dear Friend,
Thank you for your patience for this feedback. I apologize for the delay—I wanted it to be worthy of your review! 😜
On 21 May I wrote my thoughts stream-of-consciousness style, wanted to get the notes down before writing them out for you formally. I’ve done this more lately with writing to others—like a first draft. Then I find that after I’ve gotten it out, I’m less motivated to go back and edit/polish. Fascinating! I bet this is a part of my process that will require management if I’m actually going to write a whole book—so THANK YOU for helping me discover it! 😜 But this message is supposed to be about YOU… 😉
Please find below photos of the journaling. They are not stories, exactly, but they are honest reflections of the time I have spent with you since we met back in 2017. I hope the descriptions in ink serve the purpose and goals of the exercise—telling you stories of when I have experienced you at your best?
What a GIFT our relationship is to me, because my only experience of you, I realize now, is you at your best– it’s you in friendship. It’s you in Agape loving connection, for no other purpose than that, for its own sake… Well, for the sake of living a life of meaning, in accordance with your core values and integrity… My story of us, of our friendship, is that we are here to uphold each other. We serve each other as pillars of validation, exploration, curiosity, learning, and growth. It doesn’t matter what we’re dealing with in our lives, what’s happening in our other relationships—our friendship is both separate from and closely tied to all of it—does that make sense?
I write below about your caring, your patience, your trust. I see now that I left out your practice of judgment. I value withholding judgment, especially the kind that makes us closed to new information and experience in our relationships. I also recognize the value of judgment in a different sense—the reconciliation and navigation of our observations and perceptions with and against our values and goals. You don’t judge people and their actions/behaviors as good or bad. You don’t label people and categorize them, write them off—like EVER! Rather, you continuously observe, assess, and attune. You actively seek both the consonance and dissonance that lead to insight and right action! ‘Discernment’ keeps coming up for me now, as I attempt to summarize my ‘story’ of you at your best.
sigh
So lucky, so thankful. Exercises like this, if they benefit you, the receiver at all, definitely also benefit us, the ‘givers.’ Reflection on relationship nourishes my soul—OMG I just live for it!
It’s raining outside today, and I feel positively lit—from inside and out, the fire of connection burning slow and bright, tended and stoked consistently with love from all around. Going now to meet (Friend), another bright light like you.
Wishing you everything good, everything you need to keep your own fires lit and burning bright, my dear friend!! Can’t wait to see you again and continue the conversation!
Blessings and peace, and love to you and all of yours–
❤️ Cathy xo
Healing Through Connection 