Tag Archives: personal growth

On Setting Intentions

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NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 9

To Patients Seeking Bearing and Beacons

Set your intentions for the day.

In the aftermath of the election…  I feel an intense need to self-soothe and focus.

A wise friend recently introduced me to a morning practice that has impacted my days in wonderfully tangible ways.  He describes a 5×5 grid which he pencils in his journal each morning.  He fills each box with a word that he wants to hold in intention for the day.  For each word, he meditates on its meaning, then what it would feel like.  Then he meditates to feel it and live it already.  Throughout the day he then recalls the words and their sensations.  He started with a 2×2 grid (four words), then gradually increased it to 5×5.

I have had 9 (now 10) presentations to prepare between mid-August and the end of this month.  My practice continues to grow.  The kids’ schedules and activities multiply proportional to their heights.  Learning this anchoring method from him has been a Godsend for focus and grounding, and I am so grateful.

I started with 3 words, and have practiced inconsistently (this appears to be a pattern for me).  But each day that I take time to determine the words and sit with them a while, I notice a remarkable steadiness throughout the day.

Patience.  Compassion.  Focus.  Love.  Empathy.  Ease.  Generosity.  Equanimity.  Joy.  Fun.  Peace.  Forgiveness.  More Love.  Connected.  Center.  Openness.  Curiosity.  Engage.  Movement.  Lightness.  Ground.  Calm.  Acceptance.  Non-judgment.  Happy.

It’s really amazing:  Just a few minutes in the morning are all it takes to frame my mind and resolve my heart.  I feel steadfast as I walk out the door.  I go about my day and forget.  Then, in those unfocused moments, the words rise to conscious awareness and I remember, reset, and re-center.

Maybe you’re feeling a little unsteady now, also?  Give the Word Intention practice a try.  It can’t hurt.  It costs a few minutes of time.  You can start with one word.  You can write it on your hand.  There is no such thing as cheating, only seeking and centering.

Best wishes and peace to you.

On Finding Meaning

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NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 8

To Patients Seeking Meaning:

Try the Three Question Journal.

One of my favorite parts of a new patient encounter is when we talk about your work.  Not only hearing about what you do (as I wrote on Day 3), but what it means to you.  I ask you to rate your overall work stress on a scale of zero to ten.  Then I ask you to rate the overall meaning of your work (to you, not to others), on the same scale.  I’m looking for meaning to rate higher than stress, and above 6 in general.  This ratio, I have observed, represents a sustainable and fulfilling work life.  When I hear you articulate your passions and intentions at work, it inspires me, too.

Some of you realize suddenly that the meaning you once felt has faded, and you get pensive.  Or you tersely state that your work holds no meaning whatsoever, other than as a source of income.  This is where I usually pause for a few seconds to feel out where the conversation will go.  Should I screen you for depression?  Should we explore or move on?  My meaning comes from these inflection points.

Given that we spend most of our waking hours, most days of the week, at our jobs, I assert that it’s worth trying to maximize our sense of meaning.  Why not be happy and fulfilled at work, if you can?  I also assert that this is something we can and should choose, for our health and that of those around us.

My friend Liz recently re-introduced me to an exercise that may help.  It’s from Rachel Remen, physician and author of two deeply moving books, Kitchen Table Wisdom and My Grandfather’s Blessings.  It’s called the Three Question Journal.  You can find background and detailed instructions on her website here.  Basically it’s a daily practice of finding three things in your encounters:

  1. Something that surprised you
  2. Something that touched your heart
  3. Something that inspired you

Many of you may think this is a waste of time, frivolous, meaningless.  You have more important and pressing things to do.  I admit, I am not a consistent practitioner.  I feel anxious: What if I can’t find anything?  That must mean I’m mindless, cold, and utterly un-inspire-able.  Remen says this is okay— “DO NOT BECOME DISCOURAGED!!   Many people find that for a little while the answers to all three questions are exactly the same:  NOTHING, NOTHING and NOTHING.”

Wouldn’t it be so much better to be able to answer with, “This, THIS, and oh my God, THIS!!”  Every day?

We have 22 more days of November.  If you comment that you will challenge yourself to this practice every day for the rest of the month, so will I.  And we can compare notes along the way.  Whattaya say?

 

On the Lightness of Moving the Body

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NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 7

To Patients Who Struggle With Exercise:

Anything is better than nothing!

Are you a natural exerciser?  Do you move your body every day because you just can’t help it, as opposed to the rest of us, who do it occasionally because we know we ‘should?’  If so, this post is not for you.  But I do have a request:  The next time you’re with us, the unnatural exercisers, don’t judge us.  We are secretly inspired and awed by you, even as we hate you.  Your active non-judgment, which serves as passive encouragement, may be just enough to lower our threshold for doing something.

Okay so, for the rest of us:  How can we overcome the exercise barrier?  Wouldn’tcha know it, I have a suggestion!  Wait for it…  Do anything!  It sounds silly, right?  Too simple?  I have learned that simple is key, and silly can be fun.  Three years ago I was decidedly a non-exerciser.  In early 2014 I connected with a personal trainer and have since rediscovered my inner athlete, one baby step at a time.

Our initial sessions focused on awakening my core (apparently I had gluteal amnesia).  I never knew I could break a sweat holding a simple yoga pose.  I got discouraged at the prolonged lack of progress in cardiovascular endurance and strength.  But little by little, I could do more.  Early last year I downloaded a free workout app and aimed to exercise 7 minutes (read: get through one circuit, however feebly), 3 times a week.  Holy cow, how humbling to discover how 30 seconds of jumping jacks could make me so breathless?  Suffice it to say, I established an unequivocally low baseline.  But somehow I was able to let go the judgment of the failure to be fit already.  I congratulated myself for trying at all, and decided to keep going.  I bet I can get better, I thought.

And that’s the point:  We can always get better.  So often we don’t even try because our expectations are unattainably, if unintentionally, high.  We can tell because it feels pointless.  The workaround is to set our expectations stupendously low, guaranteed success-low, simple- and silly-low…  Then trust that iterative success will drive progressive improvement.  By mid-year I had a smiley sticker for every week, mission accomplished.  This year I set a new goal: 5 times a week, 3 times ‘intense.’  Don’t get the smiley stickers every week, but now it feels positively abnormal to not move for more than one day.  That progress is remarkably gratifying.

When we take our short-term goals more lightly, we allow for the freedom of modifications (push-ups on the knees at first) and trial and error.  We become open to previously unseen options.  We live in the present and appreciate what we can accomplish already today.

If it helps, read this article and repeat to yourself, “Floss one tooth, ” or “One push-up.”  ONWARD!