Category Archives: personal growth

A Holiday Break

Posted on by
7

img_1083

Happy Holidays, friends!

December flies, does it not??  What is it today, the 18th?  Holy cow!  The kids are off for winter break, holiday greetings have overtaken snail mail (Yippeeeee!!), and now that NaBloPoMo has concluded, I am back to scrounging for blog post topics again.  How fascinating…

2016, what a long, strange, CRAZY trip!  The moments (periods?) of shock and disdain stand out, but there were also times of profound inspiration, learning, and connection.  2015 did not see any holiday greetings from us, a lapse after at least 15 consecutive years of not only composed letters with photos and personal notes on every one, but also often a craft of some sort.  I was just overwhelmed with other stuff to do, though now I can’t recall what all that stuff was.  This year I contemplated the annual year-in-review letter.  I have also proofed a bookmark on vistaprint.com.  But the mass-produced, conveyor belt greeting feels unsatisfying right now.

We have all witnessed the escalating anger, division, and destruction of relationships, both individual and between groups, these last 12 months (really, much longer?).  The emotional hijacking took me over for a while, too.  After all we’ve been through, I feel an urgent need to connect with friends and loved ones more intentionally, personally, and directly.  Many on my ‘list’ have known me most of my life, and I want to take time to write to them.  I used to write them all the time–I went to college with 100 postage stamps freshman year, and used them all.  I feel a need to tell people one by one this year how much they mean to me, how they have shaped the person I am today, what I admire about them, how I see them contributing to our world.  I want to encourage them, hold up their optimism and hope.  Most of all, I mean to reinforce my connections with them, so we may all help one another soldier forth in a world of increasing uncertainty.

We cannot control what others say or do.  But we can call out the hatred, illuminate and inform the ignorance, and stand up for core values of love, connection, inclusion, equality, compassion, and justice.  We can do this all the better if we support one another in action.  That support must be cultivated, tended, and protected.

So I’ll take a break from regular blogging for a while, to write by hand (with fun-colored gel pens on cute cards, and lots of stickers).  We’ll see if I break my tardy record for holiday greetings, St. Patrick’s Day…  I think it’s okay–never too late to make a meaningful connection.

Please share your intentions for the new year here, if you like–the community I have found here lifts me every time I open the window or the app.  Thank you for your engagement and encouragement, and Best Wishes to you all this season!

 

 

On You, Team Captain and Tribal Leader

Posted on by
2

img_4052

NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 29

To Patients Who Think What You Do Doesn’t Matter:

Think again.

Yesterday I described You, the Elite Athlete.  All great athletes know they do not succeed alone.  They also appreciate the unique contribution they make to their teams.  What teams do you serve?  How do you lead?  It doesn’t matter whether you have a title or designation.  One of my favorite ideas is that no matter our instrument in the orchestra, according to Ben Zander, we can lead from any chair.

For now, think of yourself as Team Captain, or Tribal Leader.  You have invested in yourself by fueling and training, resting and recovering, managing your stress, and cultivating excellent relationships.  Now you can take the returns and reinvest in those around you:

Appraise:  Prioritize self-care

  • Like on an airplane: “Put your own mask on first.” Tribal leaders know that to effectively care for others long term, they first need to be healthy themselves.
  • Practice awareness and management of your emotions, and prevent emotional hijacking, so as to be emotionally available to our teammates and tribe members.

Empathize:  Speak the team’s language(s)

  • Think of your favorite teachers and coaches—they were able to relate to learners at all stages of development and team morale—and lovingly lift us all up.
  • “People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” –T. Roosevelt

Inspire:  Lead by example

  • Effective leaders reject victim mentality, take responsibility for our actions, and model accountability for fellow tribe members.
  • When we captains can take our own mistakes in stride, as learning opportunities rather than shameful horrors, we make it safe for our teammates to do the same.
  • Everybody is then free to take more risks, voice more ideas, offer more of their authentic selves as a contribution to the whole,
  • Because they see us, their leaders, the ones who set the tone for the group, doing it, too.
  • Key here also is leading out loud—excellent captains articulate and coach the methods of self-awareness and self-management that help us all succeed.
  • By inspiring individuals to pursue personal excellence, leaders create a supportive milieu for collaboration and collective achievement.

Motivate:  Empower team members

  • Effective captains (coaches, leaders) recognize team members’ strengths and potential, as well as areas for improvement.
  • Rather than shaming teammates for mistakes or deficiencies, good tribal leaders provide feedback and encouragement, and more opportunities for practice and development.
  • They take into account each team member’s personal goals, and help to align them with those of the collective—excellent captains connect individuals to the whole.

If your actions cause others to

Dream more, learn more,

Do more and become more,

You are a leader.

–John Quincy Adams

What would happen if you treated yourself like a true leader?

On You, the Elite Athlete

Posted on by
3

wheaties-m-ali

NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 28

To All Patients:

What would happen if you thought of yourself as an elite athlete?

I present tonight the first phase of the presentations I have given this fall to physicians, corporate executives, and tomorrow, a corporate design team.  See how it applies to you:

***

What makes you exactly the same as Pat Summit, Martina Navratilova, Michael Jordan, Dana Torres, Peyton Manning, Serena Williams, Wayne Gretzky, and Walter Payton?  You are an elite athlete.  You have a specific skill set which you spent years training and honing.  You continue, through practice and discipline, to refine it.  It’s an upward striving, just like an Olympian—Higher, Faster, Stronger!  And, you’re part of a team.

So how should you take care of yourself—your very valuable, elite athlete self?

Fuel & Train

  • “Regular people diet and exercise. Athletes fuel and train.” –Melissa Orth-Fray
  • Our bodies are our vehicles. Elite athletes’ vehicles require premium fuel and meticulous maintenance.
  • We all struggle with the same challenges—time, motivation, discipline.
  • Each day we have an opportunity to walk the talk, and practice what we preach. Every good lifestyle choice, no matter how small (apple instead of candy, stand rather than sit), is a step of intention toward health.

Rest & Recover

  • Chronic sleep debt increases risks for diabetes, obesity, impaired immune function: GET MORE SLEEP.
  • Rest and recovery are integral for sustaining long term performance and injury prevention—ie burnout. This applies for both physical and mental exertion.
  • Take your allotted vacations and really disconnect.  The world will still function (temporarily) without you.
  • Broaden your methods: 15 minute walk, 10 minute meditation, 5 minutes of journaling—unwind, unload.

Manage your stress

  • How do you know when you are ‘stressed?’ How/where does stress manifest in your body?
  • What are your existing resilience practices? How quickly do you abandon them when things get busy?
  • Exercise mindfulness: Live in the moment; breathe deeply; speak and act intentionally, not incidentally.
  • We are no different from toddlers—easily emotionally hijacked when tired, hungry, over-extended.
  • Elite athletes use the disciplines above to manage their emotions and stay focused.

Cultivate positive relationships

  • Coaches, teammates, trainers, psychologists, equipment managers—no athlete succeeds alone.
  • We thrive when we feel seen, heard, understood, accepted, loved, and safe.
  • It is only when our relationships are strong and we feel connected, that we can truly care for ourselves and our teams.
  • Who is your support network, and how do they hold you up?
  • Who do you support, and why/how does this fulfill you?

 

What is your sport?  Who is your team?  How does caring for yourself benefit those around you?  And finally, what can you do today, tomorrow, next week, next month, and in the next year, that will elevate your own health and well-being, and that of your team?  Please share your ideas in the comments!