Category Archives: communication

Unity Across Difference

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Tonight we pray for the injured Northwestern Wildcat football player.

What place has prayer in sports?  I don’t take a position here; I’m wondering. 

NU played Michigan State today.  Two players collided head on.  The Wildcat went down and did not get up.  The medical team attended immediately and Hubs saw the C-collar come out, never a good sign.  After several more minutes, it appeared the whole team gathered on the field in a still, vigilant scrum.  Heads bowed, hands grasped shoulders.  They’re praying, I realized. 

For better or worse, my first reaction was to wonder if that was okay with everybody on the team.   Do you think it was for better, or for worse?  Why?  Why do I even wonder about the distinction?  I assign it as neither (or both)—I choose simply to observe it, hold it with curiosity and not judgment.  I may entertain various stories about it, perhaps accepting all somewhat and none fully.

A second later I felt reassured, even inspired.  I don’t know anything about NU Football team culture.  I choose the story, however, that it’s the kind in which anyone asked to gather and express solidarity with a fallen teammate does so without hesitation.  “I will pray for your healing,” and, “Please pray for me,” said earnestly by a faithful player to an atheist one, can be received as an expression of caring and a request for support, respectively, rather than impositions of one’s beliefs on the other.  We bow our heads and grasp each other’s shoulders to show reverence and cohesion.  When one of us is hurt, traumatized, or otherwise suffering, it shouldn’t matter what religion we practice or not. 

We help however we know how.  Because we are a team.

Focus, Balance, and Power

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Trying a new format below—a little stream of consciousness inner learning this Thanksgiving… Grateful for much, including small epiphanal gifts of the unfocused mindstate. Hope you all connected well today.

The Discovery

While doing TRX burpees today, I learned again how purposeful visual focus maintains balance.

In the shower, I appreciated how simply closing my eyes seals them against the sting of soap—amazing!

All hail the random genius of evolution:  Every function selected for its highest purpose… but is this really true?

Eyes open or closed, what is the difference?

Sensory integration holds us up

To balance well on one leg:  Plant whole foot on terra firma.  Sense the connections: toes–midfoot–heel–calf–knee–quad/ham–hip flexor/glute–paraspinals/abs–parascapulars–trapezius–neck—head–crown skyward:  One solid chain of simultaneous proprioception.  How strong and stable, as if elongating one’s own core could pull earth to sun.

But with eyes closed, instability immediately ensues. 

I’m forced to lean heavily on internal body cues, but I’m not well-enough attuned.

…What else do we take for granted?

…What calls us to attend now, before we lose our balance when stakes are high?

Presence

What all is happening here, now? 

Do I really see, am I truly present?

Be here.  Finish this task.

Have patience.

Maintain focus.

Practice determined, mindful, inner balance by closing the eyes sometimes.

Sharpen the other senses.

Training activates strength.

Strength, especially the inner kind, affords power—not power over, rather loving power, the ability to effect positive change.

Focus upholds balance.  Balance, properly trained, yields power.

I’ll keep meditating on this.

What do you think?

At My Best

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NaBloPoMo 2020 – Today’s Lesson

Tonight’s lesson emerges from my Engaging with Difference class.  It’s a classic “Duh-HA!” (Duh + ah-HA!, thank you Tony & Diane!) epiphany, arising from a novel (to me) and profound mindfulness practice that I plan to adopt permanently.

Duh-HA!  At my best, I am relentlessly curious and ask excellent, open and honest questions.  When I’m hijacked or triggered, I speak in unqualified declarations and generalizations, which I hate. 

What is the worst version of yourself, is it what you loathe most in others?

The practice is Critical Moment Dialogue (CMD), developed by the Personal Leadership folks.  In a nutshell, when I feel “something’s up,” ie I notice some kind of internal hijack occurring in real time, I can choose to react as usual, or do a CMD and find a better way through. 

I reflected on a recent, disconcerting conversation with a colleague.  One of the six elements of CMD practice is attending to physical sensation.  The Duh-HA occurred when I recalled my desire to raise an eyebrow, cock my head, and curl my lip, which manifested as left temporalis muscle tightening.  The CMD exercise helped me understand my subjective experience in that moment:  I felt a disconnect.  My counterpart and I were enacting our usual misunderstanding pattern.  I usually blame him for being vague and self-absorbed, but now I realize that we probably grasp divergent meanings for the words we choose.  Just this one insight, in the instant I apprehended it, reoriented my entire attitude toward him and our future conversations. 

The next time we meet, I can breathe slower and more deeply, and slacken my jaw.  Evoking my commitment to curiosity, I can remember to ask more clarifying questions before making false assumptions and jumping to antagonistic judgments.

Seriously, DUH.  HA!