Category Archives: Inspiration

On Inspiration

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dsc_0460NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 17

To Patients Who Share Your Stories:

You inspire me.

For the past week or so Donna Cameron and I have practiced the 3 Question Journal, since I wrote about it 9 days ago.  Every day we look for one thing each that surprised us, touched us, and inspired us.

I find that my inspiration comes almost always from my interactions with others, and often from patients.  It’s the stories.  I bring my laptop into the exam room, and I notice when I stop typing and sit forward, usually chin in hand, to listen to what you have to say.  Usually you’re telling me about a problem you solved at work, or your kids, or that crazy illness or injury you overcame.  You look and sound proud, confident.  You sit up straighter.

The stories from past and present help me tie together your symptoms.  Maybe you get headaches more lately.  But you’re not stressed, you say.  Then looking back, well, your mom has been losing her memory fast the past year.  And your co-worker was diagnosed with cancer.  You found mold in your basement and it’s going to cost you both time and money to abate it.  Oh, and your only son will graduate from high school next year.  Hmmmm, are you sure you only have headaches and not other symptoms, too?  Yeah, you say, you’re actually doing pretty well, all things considered!

I never know what will come up when I see you.  If our relationship is established and positive, I will always look forward to your next visit.  I can’t wait to catch up.  I want to hear what you’ve noticed about your health habits, their consequences and interactions, since we last met.  The little things make me giddy—like the newfound flexibility after a couple of yoga classes, or the discovery of a new favorite health food—who knew quinoa was so delicious as a hot breakfast ?

Maybe the best part comes when I can really relate to a story you tell.  Wow, I think, we live parallel lives!  We struggle with the same barriers to healthy habits.  We share the common experience of perfectionism and self-doubt.  We both seek acknowledgement that we’re doing our best, and forgiveness for our mistakes.  We are all simply human.

Please keep sharing your stories.  You inspire me more than you know.

On What You Can Do

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img_4564NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 12

To Patients Wondering What to Do:

Take this Wise Lady’s advice.

I had an inspiring conversation this week, one that lifted me up, which I sorely needed.

This incredible woman grew up in the era before women could have credit cards in their own names, before women could play organized sports, and before spousal rape was finally outlawed.  She survived brain tumor surgery and the death of her son.  She has attained advanced education, acquired innovative skills, built and sold a business.  Throughout it all she seems to have thrived.

I queried her response to adversity.  Was she born wired for resilience?  Did she acquire such effective coping skills simply by experience?  She referenced the teachings of her father.  Through her childhood, she said, he taught her to how to face difficulties.  Before she went off to college her dad had a specific talk with her:  “Here’s how you deal with problems,” he said.  “When faced with a problem, first ask yourself, ‘what can I do?’”  Not what should I do, what do others expect me to do, what would s/he/they do.  “What can I do?”  “If you can’t figure it out right away, stop.  Go outside, take a walk.  Come back and ask again, ‘What can I do?’”

Wise Lady said this one strategy got her through myriad struggles and crises in life, and she taught it to her kids the way her dad taught her.  But life flung faster, sharper arrows her way, and she had to develop additional coping tactics.  Seeking a path to clarity through the mires of crisis, she began asking herself, “What do I need to get rid of?”  And that has made all the difference since.

I will tell you, Wise Lady has a serenity about her countenance that I meet only occasionally anymore.  She has racked miles on her soul, yet I sense no cynicism or regret.  I so want to be like her!

From now on I will ask myself more often,

“What can I do?” and

“What do I need to get rid of?”

 

On Community

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NaBloPoMo 2016, Letters to Patients, Day 10

To Patients Who Feel Alone Sometimes:

Who holds you up?

Day 2 post-election, it is still positively surreal.  Monday night I saw Facebook friends post passionate, emotional, sometimes desperate pleas, urging their friends to vote one way or another.  I also saw friends acknowledging the long, strange trip, looking forward to the next chapter, expressing both relief and trepidation.  A cloud of separation hung over my heart as I read some of my friends’ words then. 

Something inside urged me to contact a high school classmate.  We did not know each other well back then, and we didn’t always like each other.  But I always felt a mutual respect.  She does not post about politics; I do…a lot.  I know we differ in many of our positions and views.  I also know her to be thoughtful, kind, ethical, and just.  I know she has a lot going on in her life right now.  Our Facebook friendship has grown the past few years, and more and more I feel a cosmic connection.  I am meant to know this person again and better, in this later phase of life.  So I messaged her privately, just to tell her I was thinking of her.  I sent hope, and wishes that we could sit down over tea, somewhere cozy, and share our lives—slowly, thoughtfully, kindly, lovingly.  Turns out my little message helped hold her up yesterday.  On this day of anxiety and tension, hope and uncertainty, this long-distance connection gives me strength and peace.  It reminds me of a recent article by the Dalai Lama on our need to be needed.

I’ve said and written so often that I’m so grateful for my tribe(s), the communities that surround and support me in everything I do.  When I see patients, I make it a point to ask about emotional support networks. They don’t have to be vast or deep.  They just need to be strong and reliable.  No matter what our station, our illness, our cultural origin, or our political leaning, we live longer, healthier, happier, and easier when we connect with others.  It can be many, often, and deep.  It can be few and intermittent.  It just has to be meaningful and enough.

Lastly, supportive relationships function best when they are also reciprocal.  I don’t mean quid pro quo.  I mean mutual, shared, communal, uncalculated support.  I ask patients, “Do you have enough people you know you can turn to, people who will be there for you, in times of personal crisis?”  I want so much for you to answer without hesitation, “Yes, definitely, no question.”  Then I can relax about your health.  You (all) got this.